Life, 1891-01-15 · page 5 of 18
Life — January 15, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 37 This page contains several unrelated satirical vignettes typical of Life's humor format: 1. **"Mabel"** (top left): A poem mocking a woman at a winter sporting event, with illustration showing an elegantly dressed figure. The satire targets her pretentiousness and romantic fantasies. 2. **"The Logic of Events"** and other brief joke sections feature workplace and social humor—a customer complaining about plaster, observations about "literary lionesses," and wordplay about hotel clerks achieving "greatness." 3. **"A Contradictory Character"**: A joke about an elevator boy who simultaneously runs down while lifting others up—a paradox joke. 4. **"Quite a Prodigy"**: References President Harrison weighing 193 pounds, mocking his diminutive stature. 5. **"Couldn't Hide It"**: A domestic humor piece about a husband cutting his beard. The page is typical early-20th-century American magazine humor—light satire on social manners, gender roles, and current figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
& > LIFE: MABEL. IS winter... Now no longer Can Mabel, rarest maid, Perched on the lofty grand stand, Her base ball lore parade, And when the home club chances To win the bleachers’ shout, Call, in her rich contralto, “George, are the umpires out?” No. But at hop and party Gleams, as a star, her mind. There, when she sits at euchre Riches galore I find. She, for whose love in rapture Hearts by the dozen thump, Asks, holding out the joker, “Say, is this thing the trump?” Then, when the Prince of Den- mark, Thrills to the core each heart, Or,when the chords of Wagner Lead us from earth apart, When, from impassioned poet Breathless each word we wait, “Say,” says this modern Helen, “George, is my hat on straight?” HART ul I “*Jimsy, I DON'T THINK I'D CARE, ABOUT BEIN' A ANGEL. I BELIEVE I'D GET TIRED FLYIN’ AROUN’ ALL THE TIME.” 37 THE LOGIC OF EVENTS. USTOMER: Not long ago I came in here and bought a porous plaster to help me get rid of the lumbago. CLERK: Yes, sir, What can I do for you now? CusTOMER: I want something to help me get rid of the porous plaster. TRAINED OBSERVERS. Abe Aw—but it’s an odd thing, me boy; have ye ever noticed that these literary lions always have long manes? CHOLLY: Puffectly natural, old man. Don’t the literary lionesses wear short ones ? ~ OME men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some become hotel clerks. OB was probably the most pre- cocious child on record, He cursed the day that he was born, “On, Count! SEE THE POOR ORGAN- GRINDER. How DIFFI- CULT IT MUST BE TO TURN THE CRANK OF AN ORGAN IN SUCH EXCELLENT TIME!” “NOT MUCH DIFFICULT; HE NO HAVA TH’ MONK. TO TURNA TH’ CRANKA, KEEPA TH’ TIMA AND WATCHA TH’ MONEA, IT TAKA TH’ ARTEEST ; IT TAKA TH’ ARTEEST.” A CONTRADICTORY CHARACTER, DAMS: An elevator boy is a strange character, isn’t he ? Jones: How so? ADAMS: Why, every one that is up in the world he runs down, and yet he gives a lift to all who wish to rise. QUITE A PRODIGY. ‘YT is said that President Harrison weighs 193 pounds.” “Yes; he's the smallest man for his weight I ever heard of.” COULON’T HIDE IT. RS. TRUMBULL: It's too bad that your husband cut off his flowing beard. Mrs. CRIMPLE: Yes, but he had to doit. I gave hima diamond pin for Christmas, comicbooks.com