Life — November 18, 1886 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SETTLED. ARRY once had an ardent affection For two lovely girls — but confessed He was puzzled to make a selection, Since each in her turn seemed the best. / He constantly tortured his mind to Determine the endless debate; Sometimes it was Maud he inclined to — Sometimes it was Kate. If Maud had a face like a fairy, Yet Kate had a form like a queen; As Maud was vivacious and airy, So Kate was sedate and serene; While years passed with Maud as his wife would Bring happiness nothing might sate, An equally rapturous life would Be given by Kate. And long he remained undecided Which one he preferred of the two; Between such attractions divided, What was the poor fellow to do? These doubts in anxiety kept him Until he attempted his fate, To find — that Maud would’nt accept him, And neither would Kate ! Manley H. Pike. T is understood that the Georgejones river, in Alaska, is to be dammed, and that editor Dana is to furnish the darpn. ATE FIELD asks : “ How many women marry a good man?” Only one, Miss | Field, only one, if the good man is true to his | reputation. ON THE ROLLING DEEP, 2 First Fassenger: WELL, OLD BOY, WHAT'S UP THIS AFTERNOCN ? Second Passenger: ALL BUT THE SOUP. BUT NATURAL, HE following extract from President Cleveland's speech at Cambridge, last week, expresses a sentiment that every decent citizen, Rep., Dem., or Mug., will endorse : A close view afforded our citizens of the acts and conduct of those to whom they have intrusted their interests, serves as a regulator and check upon temptation and pressure in office, and is a constant re- minder that diligence and faithfulness are the measure of public duty, and such a relation between President and people ought to leave but little room in popular judgment and conscience for unjust and false accusations and for malicious slanders invented for the purpose of undermining the people's trust and confidence in the administration of their government. No public officer should desire to check the ut- most freedom of criticism as to all official acts, but every right-think- ing man mnst concede that the President of the United States should not be put beyond the protection which American love of fair play and decency accords to every American citizen. This trait of our national character would not encourage, if their extent and tendency were fully appreciated, the silly, mean, and cowardly lies that every day are found in the columns of certain newspapers, which violate every in- stinct of American manliness, and in ghoulish glee desecrate every sacred relation of private life. It sounds a little as though our otherwise excellent chief OW different the moon is from the poor, weak mortals of earth. The fuller it gets, the brighter it looks. * * * Ee the rainbow first appeared in the heavens as a promise to Noah at the time of the deluge, why not call it a Noah's arc? TIME 11.59 P. M. ISS BRUSQUE: Do you know, Mr. De Bore, I think you would make a good athlete? Mr. DE Bore: Aw weally! I was quite a wunnah in my college days, y’ know. MIss BRUSQUE: Yes, yes; I see, that accounts for your phenomenal staying powers. * * * A LIVING ILLUSTRATION. 6c ES,” said a passenger in a street car, who was arguing with a friend, “some men are born great, others achieve greatness, and some—” just then a lurch of the car Magistrate so far forgot himself occasionally as to read the | landed a fat woman in his lap—‘“‘and some,” he concluded, N.Y. Tribune. “have greatness thrust upon them.” comicbooks.com