Life — November 18, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MET her at the seashore, Was introduced by Jim ; He didn't care for me, for He thought she cared for him. We walked, and talked, and flirted, Read novels on the rocks ; She owned she'd feel deserted When I went back to stocks. I said I loved her ; merely To keep the interest up ; She smiled and answered, ‘‘ Really ?” And stroked Jim's setter pup. And then I vowed arid pleaded, Besought her to be kind ; One kiss was all I needed To satisfy my mind. She said : and smiled so sweetly, “Suppose you should ask Jim ? You see I’m his completely For I’m going to marry him.” Sextus. * * * BOSTON man drinks refined oil as a beverage. The word “refined” is what tickles his palate. * * * (Aen item says shoes are the same as in the spring. Ours are not. We've had two pairs since But perhaps we are ultra fashionable. * * * then. J N addition to being a very great authoress, Queen Victoria is also a painteress. This sort of thing makes the Prince feel comfortable, as it can keep the wolf from the door in case the Guelph family should be thrown upon its own resources. * * * BITTER frame of mind can always be relieved by “bitters.” * * * AY theatrical play is called “Collars and Cuffs.” If there is a washerwoman in the cast the male members of the company ought to accomplish some powerful and real- istic work. ‘ z * AN ECONOMIC PROBLEM SOLVED. LERK (¢x fashionable uptown bakery, to proprietor) : That tray of American soda biscuits in the window, sir, has been there for three weeks, and they are getting sour. What shall I do about it ? PROPRIETOR: Label them English tea muffins. T the funeral of a woman who died recently in Palmyra, N. Y., at the age of 104 years, the facetious choir incurred the wrath of the mourners by singing “I would not live alway.” (Fact.) * * * T is claimed that Mrs. James Brown Potter can recite a poem with both eyes shut and one hand tied behind her back. 4 * x * AY GOULD can buy for four dollars and a half a boy's J corduroy suit that fits him nicely and looks quite stylish. * * * HE advent of a cyclone is always a sad blow to the community. * * * F Christopher Columbus had had the money and advice of Mr. George Jones to encourage him he might have became a very much greater discoverer than he turned out to be. ss * * * E often hear of college bread girls, but give us the French bread and nice home-made pie girl. * * * A® Indiana citizen withthe fever and ague passed through Charleston the other day, and the frightened inhabit- ants began to make for the open country. * * * SCAR WILDE says that he can’t eat anything just before writing poetry. That’s the case with a great many poets. They have nothing to eat. * * * POEM called “The Lay of the Lobster,” has been pub- lished. Such a subject must be a dreary one to put in verse. The last lobster we ate laid like lead. * * * EXPLAINED. cay Ou say you have never been in Chicago, Monseer Bartholdi!” said a resident of that city to the sculptor. “No, sare, nevare! but I haf met ze Chicago ladies in Paree.”” “Oh, that explains it,” and the perplexed look upon the Chicago man’s face passed away; “I was wonderin’ where you got the idee for them feet.” * * * ME. THEO'’S presentation of “Adam and Eve” is reported as one of the Paris season’s most con- spicuous failures. Probably Theo in the character of Eve was overdressed. comicbooks.com