Life, 1886-09-09 · page 12 of 16
Life — September 9, 1886 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page Analysis The top cartoon shows two men in a confrontation near what appears to be a ballot box or voting station. One man is backing away while the other advances—the humor comes from the caption's deadpan observation that one fellow is "backin' up" while the other is "followin' him," treating a tense political or social standoff as casual observation. This likely satirizes 19th-century political intimidation or confrontational behavior at polling places. The remaining content includes three unrelated pieces: a lengthy essay mocking elephants (likely satirizing their impracticality or current popularity in American culture), a humorous piece about a New Jersey sharpshooter, and two comedic advice columns—one mocking an indecisive young mother obsessing over conflicting infant care theories, another joking about travel between Ohio and Kentucky using classical mythology references. The page demonstrates *Life*'s characteristic blend of visual satire and witty prose commentary on contemporary American life and society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Hoo, Jimmy! YERS COUPLE FELLERS GOIN’ TER FIGHT. ONE’S BACKIN’ UP AN’ T’ OTHER’S FOLLERIN’ HIM !”” is crowded he cannot kick, no three of his legs being capable | of sustaining his weight. The same cause militates against his taking an active part in a ballet. It is usually conceded that he is intended entirely for show purposes. The darkest one would prove a white elephant to the majority of the | American public. What could a hall-bedroom tenant do with an elephant? The best-natured landlady would object to its browsing in the hall nights. The only really useful parts about him are his tusks, and they are chiefly used for making billiard balls. To the economist it seems a pitiful waste, to breed an animal, nurse him, feed and pamper him for five or six centuries before you can get sufficient ivory from him to start two games of pyramid pool. It is difficult to compress the elephant into a column. It would take too long to mi- nutely describe his different parts, but to take his leading features, his trunk or grain elevator is a peculiar elongated nasal arrangement that speaks for itself, and trumpets forth its own praises. He also has a very liberal allowance of ear. Scientists have asserted that if an elephant could only flap his ears he could fly. But we are afraid that, were the head to commence to waft its way upward, the weight of the body would break its neck. Then again nature would have to strengthen the branches of trees, as should a vara avis of this description come home to roost it would damage the orchard. It is said an elephant would live a thousand years. So would man, if he could, but he cannot. “FL N. Crane. EW JERSEY has come to the front with a crack shot who can break 100 glass Lalls a minute. He does it with a trip-hammer, \ side. | right side. On the whole, Jane, you may lay the baby on his “SHINE!” PURSUING A MIDDLE COURSE. Y OUNG MATRON (with theories on care of children, to nurse): Jane? NURSE: Yessum. YOUNG MATRON: When the baby has finished his bottle, lay him in the cradle on his right side. After eating, a child should always lie on the right side; that relieves the pres- | sure on the heart. Still (reflect#vely), the liver is on the right side — perhaps, after all, you had better lay him on the left No, I am sure the treatise on Infant Digestion said back until I have looked up the matter more thoroughly. NCE upon a time there was a ball club. It was called the New York Club. It belonged to New York. That was. just. what was the matter with it. If it had never gone away from New York, all might yet have been well. But when, it went away, it left us all to silence and tears. THE TWO VOICES. “Some draught of Lethe might await The slipping through from state to state.” [ABEED there might, Alfred, especially if you were slip- ping through from the State of Ohio into the State of | Kentucky. But don’t you go and call for Lethe; they might not know;just what you meant. In the Bluegrass region its poetical name is Belle of Nelson. And don’t ask for lemon- seltzer ; ‘ten to one you wouldn't get it. Take it straight, like a little man. When you are in Kentucky, do as the Ken- tuckians do. B. Zim.