Life — September 9, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT SCISSORS AT NvLLy A BROAD JOKE. PHOTOGRAPHER (mechanically) : Now, look pleasant, please. (With agitation): Oh, don't smile quite so much; I have only a small plate in. — Grip. ALGy: Do marriage ? ANGELY : Of course papa will be very sorry to lose me, darling. ALGY: But I will say to him that instead of losing a daughter he will gain a son. ANGELY: I wouldn't do that, love, if you really want me. has three such sons boarding here now, and he’s a little touchy on the point. — 7exas Siftings. you think, my love, your father will consent to our A VERY BAD MAKE-UP. ONE of the funniest mistakes in the ‘ make-up” of a newspaper, if it was a mistake, was made by the foreman of the Detroit Adena Post, in which the following appeared on last Thursday : Postmaster General William F. Vilas and United States Senator Payne, of Ohio, arrived here yesterday on the steamer /ndéa, and in the afternoon were sentenced by Judge Haug to sixty days in the | house of correction.— Ex, Ir wouldn’t have required much of a hand to beat Noah at poker. | He only held two of a kind. — Zexas Siftings. TRamP: I have lost an arm, sir; will PASSER-BY (?” great haste) :' Sorry, but I haven't seen anything of it.—_New York Sun, Papa | 153 UNCULTURED ENTHUSIASM. Laura,” said Mrs. Parvenu, on the hotel piazza, to her daughtet— “Laura, go and ask the leader of them orchestras to play that ‘sym- pathy from Meddlejohn’ over again. It’s such an awful favorite of mine and your father's, too!”—Baston Traveler. W'y, how yer do, Nancy ?” said old Hester, addressing old San- derson’s daughter. ‘Didn't yer get married last Saddy night | “No; de weddin’ dat come off didn’t take place.” “ Wha fo’ didn’t it, gal?” ‘Well, ‘case der wan't but thirteen present.” ‘ All fool- ishness. You oughtenter b'lebe in no such foolish ’spicion ez dat. | I'clar ter goodness, yer make me ashamed o’ yer, puttin’ off weddin’ jest bekase dey wan't but thirteen dar, Wy n't yar sent out an’ in- vited de fo'teenf pusson ter come ?” ‘ Well, daddy go out an’ beg him ter come.” ‘‘ Well, w'y n't yer go ahead an’ let him erlone ?” “Couldn't.” “Why?” “Case de fo’teenf man was de pusson what had promised ter marry me. I tells yer, Aunt Carlsy, thirteen is bad luck." — San Francisco Chronicle. Cuarey will soon be home again, fresh from his studies, won’t he?” said a fond Cincinnati mother to her spouse. ‘I don’t’ think, my dear, that Charley's studies can have the effect of making him any fresher than he was when he left,” was the old gentleman's unfeeling reply. — Cincinnati Sun. Tue son of a clergyman was delivering a valedictory when, in pull- ing out his handkerchief, he pulled out a pack of cards. “Hello!” he exclaimed, ‘ I’ve got’on my father’s coat."— Durant (Miss.) News. Mr. FRANK Stockton is credited by Arlo Bates with sending a ponderous door key to a friend just sailing for Europe, with this mes- sage: ‘‘ He says it is the key to one of the very best boarding houses | in London. He is sorry he has forgotten the address, but if you try the doors until you find the one this fits, you may be sure the place is a capital one.” 1158 Broadway, cor. 27th St. 69 Fulton Street, 9 Warren Street. Recognized as one of the Leading and Most Reliable WINE HOUSES IN AMERICA. ESTABLISHED, 1853, A large variety of Grocers’ Condiments. pest and CHOICEST WINES AND LIQUORS, Some of which we haye owned ourselves THIRTY ‘ARS, Av MODERATE PRICES. CELEBRA Honest Madeira, $3.50 per gallon ; good value. | Sour Mash Whiskies, five Summers old, $4 per | gallon. No other house can furnish Old Crow RYE. The New | Palmer House, Chicago, COPYRIGHTED. | LADIES’ ROUND HATS. | 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., = and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., 1 JeAKAY LADIES’ TAILOR. HABIT MAKER and HATTER, or 19 EAST 2tsr STREET, NEW YORK, SOLICITS an Inspection of his Fall Importations in TED HATS Woolens and Fabrics Selected from Leading Manufacturers in Euro- pean markets. : Designs and Styles in YoRK. 9x4 Chestnut St., Phila. | COLUMBIA BICYCLES | THE POPE MFG. CO., 597 12 Warren St., N. Novelties certain to lease are now to be seen yy patrons and ladies who require a Perfect Fit and S. rictly Tailor Made Yackets, Coats, Gowns, raps,” etc., etc, the Drive, House or Street. AND TRICYCLES. Catalogue Sent Free. thks 7 Washington St., Boston. Branch Houses: “* My dear child, how considerate you are! This Rhenish Cologne is so refreshing and agreeable it is really a luxury to one so old and infirm as your | grandmother.” LUNDBORO'S RHENISH COLOONE. “Refreshing and agreeable” to young and old. 115 Wabash Ave., Chicago. Rion Hasrrs Mave or Favntirss Fit. PRIESTLEY’S NEW SILK WARP FABRICS. | Among the new materials especially commended is the Clairette, also shown with a border for veils. This soft, dainty fabric seems impervious to hardship, and while light in weight, is sufficiently black to be assumed even in deep mourning. Convent cloth will be much worn in the carly spring. Gypsy Cloth isan etamine fine and artistic in draping. while firm in texture. This Pansy is a soft twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite.—Delineator. “LIFE’S VERSES!” Composed of the best poems, selected from ‘* Life,” beautifully bound and illustrated. Cover in | colors. The daintiest book ever published. Price. $1.50, postage pas 50, | “THE GOOD THINGS OF IEE: d Series, Price, $2.50 Send remittance by check to order o! | Second Series. Price, $250 Send remittanps Wes «1155 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com