Life — October 15, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LOOK HERE UPON THIS PICTURE, AND ON THIS.” [With our apologies to “ Harper's Weekly.”] Captain Bacon was removed by Collector Hedden, from the responsible position of Weigher, to make way for George H. Sterling. Mr, Sterling has managed a lucrative saloon in Rrooklyn for years, and has done his duties as barkeeper so satisfactorily’ that many politicians had fallen into the habit of swallowing his concoctions with- out asking questions as to their composition. Hence his extraordinary qualifications for Captain Bacon's position, A TENDER CONSCIENCE. DOUBTFUL boon, half good, half bad, This rigorous voice withi So heavy is my heart, and sad, To see my neighbors sin. Bradford Torrey. TENNIS IN SHANTYTOWN. “ ATRICK MULCAHEY,’ officer says you were very disorderly. you to say for yourself ?” “Well, yer Honor, ye see me brother Dinnis there was just back from Newport, where he 's droivin’ a cab, an’ he was afther teachin’ me to play tinnis, an’ we ‘d fixed up a coort wid a bit av nit from the Widow Kelly’s hen yard, an’ Dinnis shtands up wid a ball an’ sez he to me, sez he— “ Now thin, Oi ‘Il serve.” “Two beers thin if ye plaze,” sez Oi. “ Droi up,” sez he, an’ wid that he knocks the ball over the nit forninst me an’ sez as it counts him fifteen. “ Fifteen phwat ?” sez Oi. “Fifteen pints,” sez he. Pints av phwat ?” sez Oi, “ Whiskey ?” “ Droi up,” sez he, an’ wid that knocks me another ball an’ Oi fetches it an illigant paste for three bases over beyant the nixt block, and Dinnis says as that counts him fifteen What have said the Justice, “the | Captain Bacon has held his position continuously since 1869, when he was appointed by General Grant, and has done his duties as Weigher so satisfactorily that many merchants had fallen into the habit of selling their goods by his weighing. Hence his removal became a matter of public necessity. more for not bein’ in the coort. So thin Oi braces up an’ gits the nixt three pints, an’ Dinnis, the thafe, seein’ Oi was afther batin’ him, sez as the last pint was only good for tin instead av fifteen, an’ thin Oi tells him as he were a loiar an’ a thafe, an’ wid that he cracks me over the head an’ Oi gives him wan betchune the oies, an’ thin we got snarled up in the nit, an'—"" “Ten days to study up the game,” said the Justice wearily. RK. UR highly esteemed contemporary, the Sua, says of us: Our esteemed contemporary LiFe speaks of the Porte as a man, and of ‘‘ knocking a chip off his shoulder.” This writer must be the same who denounced the States General as ‘* this wicked military officer.” For once the Su is in error. This writer is not the one who made the States General remark, but he was heard on an occasion to exclaim: ‘That cranky old feline, the Editor of the Sua, talks about re-electing Governor Hill,” as {if Mr. Dana really was the cat he delights to think himself and Mr. Hill could be Re-elected to an office for which he never received one vote. ITTLE Johnny, on being asked by his school-teacher if he knew what was meant by “‘at par,” replied that “Ma was always at Pa when he came home late.” comicbooks.com