Life — October 15, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HARD LINES. BY A BANK CASHIER, REAT Scott, I do n't know what to do, 1 ‘ve shipt the bank's whole revenue On private spec, And all the boodle I could raise, To back me in my cashier's craze Has slipt beyond my mortal gaze Into Quebec, To-morrow | should hie me hence To reap the pleasures of my pence In sweet exile And sing: Old Bank, I''m safe at last, The time to catch me iong since past, My future 's bright, my fortune's vast, I've made my pile. I can’t stay in this wicked place For fear my friends will see my face Behind the bar. Oh, Lord, I''m in an awful box, I've savéd up four million rocks, And now I see they ‘ve got small-pox In Canada. . . . TO A CORRESPONDENT. USTOM HOUSE: We cannot say surely why the Government built such a high tower in connection with the Barge Office. It may be, however, that it was erected for the convenience of the Surveyor of the Port. . ° * COAL barge was sunk in Hell Gate a few days since. This looks as if his Satanic Majesty was a little short of fuel. ° * . HE Mother-in-Law is the name of a paper started in Mexico. It will probably be devoted to family interests and will circulate largely. Te Sun suggests that a competitive game of whist would much better attest the fitness of candidates for the Civil Service than any examination that could be held. True enough, but poker would be much more American. ARECHAL remarked that women are in the moral world what flowers are in the physical. Is this the derivation of the expression “ She 's a Daisy,” frequently used by the rising generation ? . . * ING THEEBAW, of Burmah, is having a 20-ton brass idol cast for a new pagoda palace which he is con- structing. When Mr. Dana hears of this the Sus will doubtless con- tain some allusion toa “ good god weighing 20 tons.” * . . H! If the boys only knew what it cost to say no, they would n't accuse me of being stingy. R. P. Flew-r. ° . . HE Suz brings the terrible charge against Mr. Daven- port that his record as a State Senator was distin- guished chiefly by absentecism. This is but additional proof of Mr. Davenport's care in the selection of his associates, and for avoiding the haunts of the New York State legislator, he is to be commended, not condemned. . . * “ D4?” me,” quoth Mrs. Spriggins, “I see poor Lonzy Myers has broke his half-mile record. 1 do hope he can get it mended.” * . . LLEN TERRY is negotiating for a dramatic tour unac- companied by Henry Irving. Mr. Irving's price for staying at home is said to be some- what beyond the fair Ellen's means. . . : HAT was a very pretty little banner the New York base- ball team presented to the Chicago nine last week, and the latter were so overcome by the unexpectedness of the gift that they allowed the New Yorkers a very pretty little walk-over in return. It’s a pity this banner presentation scheme was not adopted by the New Yorkers before. ° . . “ | Psa I pay the freight,” says scale seller Jones of Binghamton. Yes, but who runs the Carr. OLSEL has been gazetted a Viscount. eralship, however, is still at a discount. His Gen- comicbooks.com