Life — August 6, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: THE AMERICAN PEERAGE. [COMPILED BY PERK, ULTERIOR KNIGHT FOR MANHATTAN.] Speckles. EFEW, CHAUNCEY, Viscount Vanderbilt, and Hon- PECKLES, CLAWS, Earl of ‘Frisco, Lord Sugarloaf, orary Colonel of the Bondholders’ Battalion. Lineage: Viscount Defew traces from a family of refugee Juggernauts, and, obeying his hereditary impulse, has as- sisted in that triumph of modern engineering which has re- sulted in establishing the Juggernaut idol on a railroad car. and Baron Graball. Lineage: From the Cane and Pennysqueezer families and the Speckles of Speckleate. Lord Sugarloaf stood high in the community in which he dwells until he got into hot water. His saccharine popularity then rapidly melted away. He is also collaterally related to the New England Society, from which he has held various after-dinner briefs. Having some acquaintance with the law, he is chiefly noted for his rare knowledge of cookery. Graduated at the Culinary Col- lege in 1856, with degree of Cordon Bleu, and has since at- tended a large number of banquets. It is believed that, as He ardently advocated free trade forthe multitude, and op- posed protection except when utilized on his own behalf. By these means he succeeded in removing the duty on Hawaiian sugar; and, having monopolized the supply, and shut off all deliveries of American sugar in California, by getting pro- hibitory freight rates established, he was able to confer upon Viscount Defew has for some time conducted experiments in declamation, he will shortly embark upon the career of a public speaker. Owing to other engagements, he has not yet found time to take his seat as United States Senator. arms: Sanguine, in chef a fountain, argent (indicating the ex- pected flow of eloquent and silver speech). Crest: A social lion gardant. Supporters: Two waiters, habited sable, each holding in the dexter hand a champagne-bottle. Motto (adapted from the Prince of Wales's): * I dine.” Seats ; Goodeatin’, and Held Fee, New York. Clubs : Upper Crust, Union Clique, and Political Mourner’s. his fellow-citizens the privilege of paying more for free sugar than they had paid for taxed sugar. beneficence, he was created Baron Graball. As a reward for this Lord Sugarloaf maintains preserves in San Francisco, where anti-Speckles editors are kept and occasionally shot. Arms: Azure, on a pall ermine three coffins, sable, semée of screw: heads, argent. Crest : A loaf of sugar surmounted by a pistol, in bend, proper. Supporters : Two planters, each bearing in his exterior hand a stalk of sugar-cane, ard in his teeth a knife. Mott Seats: loney is Sweeter than Fame.” ider-Web House and Six-Shooter Court, California. A MATTER OF TASTE. HE same exquisite taste which led “the editor of a popular magazine " (according to a recent newspaper paragraph) to ask a dying man to contribute to his publica- tion, seems to have found an echo in the office of the 7rzbune, where the death of General Grant is made the occasion of a renewed howl for Republican union. prise” can sound no deeper. THE first lady in the land—Eve. “ Business enter- | THREE LETTERS. PHLIT JOHNSON. 6¢ CO you leave for the sea shore to-morrow To worship at gaiety’s shrine. I can see by your face that your sorrow At parting does not equal mine. Since you wish it, I'll write to you often. Of you I ask very much less, That you ‘ll send me, my labors to soften, Three letters, and. those : ‘ y-e-s.’"" comicbooks.com