Life — August 6, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AUGUST. HE season for to gather in The corn that 's green, and beets Has come around just as it should, As warmer grow the streets. And new potatoes now are de Rigueur upon the marts, While Cupid in the rural climes Shoots his assorted darts. The maidens all do dress in white, In flimsy textured gown, While Sol goes on an awful spree And red-hot paints the town. The flies, with great perception, too, Do roost on luscious man, And merrily bite the live-long day While flip-flop goes the fan. The ice man makes a fortune now, The moon the dogs do bark at, And nice fresh kittens in the yard, Are yelling for their ma cat. Off goes the coat of mortal man, In pants we find the dog. Cozwhy? ‘The hour has reached us when We date our letters “ AuG.” . . . HE politicians are beginning to discuss Mr, Evarts as a possible Presidential candidate in 1888. Mr. Evarts is a good man, weighing twenty-four pounds. . . * ] RS. SPRIGGINS is of the opinion, after reading Bart- lett’s Quotations, that “that fellow Ibid was a very pacific writer.” . . * HE Sun's life of General Rawlins, printed by mistake as a sketch of General Grant, was almost as good reading as it was bad taste. . . . R. CHANDLER ought to hire himself out as a com- plete letter writer. Either that, or the position of humorist to the 7rzbune's editorial death column could not fail to suit his special talents, A PHILOSOPHER once remarked that to write like a fool was easy. What a sinecure the 7y/bune’s funny man must have if this be true! AN IDYL OF APPLE-JACK,. MALL John did love the apples green, But they, alas ! did not Love Johnnie as they should I ween; And now, poor boy, he’s got Unto the land where apples ripe Grow in a golden orchard, And small Johns do no longer gripe By chol'ra morbus tortured. . . * Ir a branch office of the St. Petersburg Svet were to be established in New York during the’ dog-days it would | doubtless have a large circulation. * . . ECRETARY MANNING has discovered a professor in one of the scientific departments in Washington who is | more or less crooked and has suspended him. Thus the good work of dismissing cripples and one-legged veterans goes bravely on. . . . A REMONSTRANCE, [Our E. C., Lire, frequently remarks that ‘it has long since ceased to be de rigeur.” But it never was de rigeur excepting in the columns of our E. C, Lire.— Newspaper Wail” man, Evening Post.) UR friend who edits with a knife The famed Post-mortem wit Doth grieve us much when with his blade Our errors he doth hit ; And when we find with words like these His items are prefaced We keenly suffer, for we know On truth they all are based. But ‘tis not kind in him, we think, Conspicuous thus to Post us, And in such weather as we have Endeavor thus to roast us. And when we note the error made We ask him, somewhat doubting, Just what his grudge against us is And wherefore all his shouting. “Look here, good friend—you, * Waifer’ man— Look here, sciss-or-ateur, Please tell us what's the reason why You score our de rigeur ? Have we done aught with manuscript Of your’s te make you pout ? We'd like to know if e’er before Perchrnee we left U out.” RS. VP. comicbooks.com