Life, 1885-07-16 · page 4 of 16
Life — July 16, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 32 **"He Didn't Care"** is a satirical poem about thieves robbing a New York gentleman's house of lead pipes and faucets. The joke appears to be social commentary: the wealthy owner is so indifferent to his material possessions that he doesn't even notice the theft. The poem mocks either upper-class detachment or suggests the theft is so commonplace it's unremarkable. The page also contains brief gossipy items about Judge Tree's diplomatic appointment, baseball in the West, and Mrs. Spriggins's complaints about treatment in Vienna. **"Pictorial Shakespeare"** shows a crude cartoon labeled "King Lear," though its relevance is unclear. The remaining content consists of wordplay and satirical "tips," typical of Life's humorous miscellany format from this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE DIDN'T CARE. [Thieves recently broke into the residence of a New York gentleman and stole every bit of leaden pipe and all the faucets in the house.— Exchange.) OW the streets are very empty, And the cats upon the fence, With their ever-constant musing, Are the sole inhabitants Of the mansions in the cit For the folks have gone away— Some at Newport, some in Jersey, Some at Sary-at-ogay. Now's the time when cops are busy, And the thieves quite happy are, As they sit in handsome parlors, Puffing on the mild cigar Which their host had left behind him When he took his folks elsewhere, Of his entertaining angels That are fallen, unaware. Now they drink his fine Madeira, As they eye his fam'ly plate; And they drum on his piano, As they open the debate Whether chandeliers are worthy Of their time, which now is short, For they fear that with such booty Very likely they ‘ll be caught. So they drop the plate and fixtures, By a large majoritie, Which, they being five in number, Is as two is unto three. Now they take up all the flooring When they hear the “copper’s” clank, And they rip out all the plumbing From the bath-tub to the tank. When the owner leaves the country And hears what 's happened, he Throws his hat high in the atmosphere And shouteth merrilee, And when his friends in wonder Ask him why his wild A:/arza, He dies a laughing as he gasps, “ They "ve stolen my malaria!” . . . HERE seems to bea great deal of “casting hankers to windward,” if the Washington news of office-seekers there be true. | crackers. UDGE TREE has been sent as U.S, Minister to Bel- gium, It's time now for Judge Knott and Judge Lynch to receive some reward, . * > HE most important base-ball games are now being played in the West, says an exchange. This is natural. “ Westward the star of the umpire takes its way.” * . . RS. SPRIGGINS is still very indignant over the treat- ment of Mr. Keiley at Vienna, and thinks the “ ’Meri- can Eagle ought to conflict summery punishment on the haughty Austrich Nepot!” * * . PICTORIAL SHAKESPEARE. KING LEER. . . . HE Prohibitionists have discovered a new translation of Cexsar’s immortal vend, vids, vice. They have it: I came, I saw, and I took Vichy. . . * “T SEE you had a Féte Champetre up your way on the Fourth,” said Bilkins to his friend Noggins. “ More like a Féte Saltpetre,” replied N., whose personal appearance had undergone considerable modification on ac- count of a spontaneously combusted pocket full of cannon . . . TENNYSONIAN TIPS. N July the fire-cracker pops upon the grassy sward, In July the wand'ring canine by the catcher's greatly bored. \ In July the small boy’s pants he lightly hangs upon a limb Ere he jumps into the mill-pond for to take a cooling swim. In July a livelier Irish gathers on the picnic wharf. , And the wanton blue-eyed peeler runs them in because they 're off. comicbooks.com