Life, 1885-07-02 · page 5 of 16
Life — July 2, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The American Peerage" Page Explanation This satirical page from *Life* magazine mocks American social pretension by creating fake aristocratic lineages for prominent Americans. The two coats of arms represent fictional "Adam" and "Aster" family lines. **Adam** (Charles Fancy) is humorously traced to "the gardener Adam, of Eden"—the biblical first man—satirizing claims of distinguished ancestry. The text notes his family's actual humble origins among American servants and revolutionary figures. **Aster** (William Billion) similarly ridicules the wealthy Astor family's pretensions to nobility. The satire emphasizes their recent immigrant origins (1783) and mercenary focus on wealth accumulation, mocking their invented aristocratic airs. The page lampoons American fascination with European nobility and genealogical snobbery among the newly rich, suggesting authentic American achievement matters more than manufactured pedigrees.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: THE AMERICAN PEERAGE. [COMPILED BY PERK, ULTERIOR KNIGHT OF MANHATTAN.] Adam. DAM, CHARLES FANCY, Lord High Chancellor of the Alabama Arbitration Court, 2% éunco, and Baron Quinsy. Baron Quinsy began his career as a physician, and was raised to the peerage as an acknowledgment of his ser- vice to humanity in studying inflamed swelling of the throat caused by family pride. His experiments on himself brought on an aggravated case of this malady. Lineage: The origin of the family was humble, dating only from the gardener Adam, of Eden. The first American pro- genitor was John Don't-Give Adam, who figured in the Revolution. He and his son held some minor offices, among them the Presidency of the U.S. It is only within recent years that the Adams have risen to eminence, since they abandoned revolutionary principles and became Legitimists. 2. Charles Fancy, Jr., Viscount Brainy. Unlike his ances- tors, does not figure in the government of the American Union, but in that of Union Pacific. He figures profitably, however. 3. John Quidnunc, Esq. (grad. Harv.), candidate for orders in the established Governorship of Massachusetts. He, with the rest of the family, is distinguished for an ardent, genial temperament, generous and hot-headed even to rashness. Arms: Quarterly (dividends). First and fourth, sable, three letter /'s, argent (for | myself) ; second and third, argent, the letter A (for Adam), or. Crest: An iceberg, frigid, proper. Motto; ** Perishing, I survive.” Seats: Town Hall, Quincy, Mass., and Faneuil Hall, Boston. Clubs: Family Circle, and Upper Crust. Aster. CASTOR MAKETH AlTER) STER, WILLIAM BILLION, Duke of Rent, and Earl of Fitz-Avenue. Lineage: The descent is traced directly from * * * * * Jack Abraham Isaac Jacob Aster came to the kingdom of the United States in 1783. He was related to the village of Walled-Off, in Germany, and many of his descendants still try to be walled-off from the rest of mankind. He invested his capital (which consisted of a flute and a ferry-boat) in furs; but it was not until he allied himself to the celebrated and wealthy poet, Fitz-Greene Halleck, that he learned how to make money. The old China Asters are a branch of this house; as also the Asterisks. The large real estate of the Asters entitles them to the presentation of many livings—but they never present them. The terms are strictly cash. 2. William Walled-Off Asterisk. Exiled as Minister to ” Italy for his attempt to purify local politics by means of champagne, Arms: Per fess, sable and vert. In chief a beaver holding a purse in its mouth between two fylfots (representing the sacred asterisk of, the Greek church), argent ; in base a house, of the third, on which are the words ‘' To Let.” Crest : Demillion, or. Motto: ‘Castor maketh Aster.” Seats; Nourmahal-on-the-Sea, Town house, Highstool, Counting Room. Clubs: Liederkranz, Upper Crust and Bondholders’ League. comicbooks.com