Life, 1885-07-02 · page 11 of 16
Life — July 2, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page This page contains two distinct pieces: **Main Story (top two-thirds):** A humorous narrative about an amateur women's orchestra attempting to rehearse Boccherini's Minuet. The satire mocks their incompetence and distraction—they can't tune properly, lose ear-rings, worry about appearance over musical ability, can't hear themselves play, and abandon rehearsal when social engagements call. It's gentle social satire on dilettante musicians and women's frivolous priorities. **Cartoon ("A Run on a Country Bank"):** The illustration shows panicked figures rushing, apparently depicting a bank run—a financial crisis where depositors demand withdrawals simultaneously. The caption's visual metaphor suggests chaos and disorder. **Brief Items (right column):** A satirical note about Mr. Gladstone refusing an earldom, and a joke about Japanese missionaries coming to America to teach Americans "common honesty"—clearly mocking American dishonesty or corruption of the era. The page reflects turn-of-century American humor mixing domestic comedy with political and social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: that her family had all gone out to their place in the country. By this time all the members had arrived with the excep- tion of the ‘cello, and as there were reports of a young man having called on her rather frequently of late, it was decided that no dependence could be placed on her, and that waiting longer would be useless, so everyone began getting ready. Some delay was caused by one of the violins getting the end of her bow caught in her neighbor's back’ hair, and the trombone in attempting to operate the slide of her instrument nearly knocked the wind out of the French horn in front of her, but at last everyone was ready, the leader rapped, and the first strains of Boccherini’s Minuet were about to be attacked when the first violin exclaimed : “O dear! do wait a minute, Clara, I forgot all about tun- ing!’ And as everyone else had made the same omission, considerable time was spent in getting in unison. At last, however, all was ready. Clara once more began, “One, two—" but was suddenly interrupted by a faint grunt from the double-bass. “O Alice !” she expostulated, “ you must of begin before everyone else that’way !" “T wasn't beginning !" replied Alice rather hotly, “1 was only making sure I was on the right string !" Once more the leader’s baton was raised. ‘One, tw—" “Look out, Clara,” exclaimed some one, “ you ‘re losing your ear-ring.”” So Clara had to lay down her baton and arrange matters. And then some one else broke in with, “ O Clara, do promise, when we give a concert, to do your hair up on top of 1 your head! It isn’t any great matter how we play, you know, but we really must /ook well.” “O do hush, girls!’ Are you all ready? Well then, now, “One, two, three- Goodness gracious! Everybody stopped in amazement and proceeded to explain that everyone else had made such a noise that individually they couldn't hear whether they were playing right or wrong, or at all, for that matter. However, they quieted down and began once more, but this time the trombone got onto her one note and fairly drowned everything, so that a discouraging pause ensued, which was broken by numerous suggestions as to what had better be done. One complained that the minuet went too fast and didn’t give you a chance to think what note was coming next, and another said that there were too many notes in the thing anyway, and then Jennie, the first clario- net, proposed that they should play something that they all knew already, such as the Wedding March from Lohengrin, and then everyone laughed and Miss Jennie, realizing tbat she had rather given herself away, blushed deeply. “Is that clock striking five? Goodness! I promised to ‘pour out’ at that shindy at Deadstones!" “And I've got to be there, too!” “ And I too—" “and I,” etc., etc., and in afew moments the room was deserted and the rehearsal over. Roland King. R. GLADSTONE refused an earldom because he con- siders himself already sufficiently elevated by the Tory party. This is mentioned to prevent the misleading suspicion that he is not early enough to wear such an honor. XS A RUN ON A COUNTRY BANK. A GOOD SUGGES- TION. T seems that the missionary spirit has proved contagious, and, as American mis- sionaries have been in- structing the Japanese in the doctrines of Christianity, a Foreign Missionary — Associa- tion has been organ- ized in Japan, having for its aim to teach Americans common honesty. The first delegation is destined for this city, and, as the enterprise is a most laudable one, we hope they may not, as has been the case with so many other missionaries, be sub- jected to maltreat- ment.