Life, 1885-01-29 · page 11 of 16
Life — January 29, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Political Satire on Cabinet Appointments This page satirizes President-elect Hayes's upcoming cabinet selections (March 4, 1877). The "Cabinet Gossip" column mockingly discusses potential appointees like Carl Schurz and David Davis, with particular ridicule of Davis—described as so overweight he "hasn't seen his feet for twenty years" and thus "can not therefore exactly tell where he stands," a joke on his political uncertainty. The satire targets the "spoils system" debate: Democrats want patronage ("To the victors belong the spoils"), while Civil Service Reformers oppose removing officials without cause. Hayes is mocked for attempting to please both sides, finding himself "seated on airy nothing." The "Few Statements" section contains state-based jokes (Texas as "worst state of all," Kentucky for dogs, etc.)—period stereotypes rather than serious commentary. The cartoon "Pit-Falls of Paris" appears unrelated—a humorous scene where a cab driver mistakes "fiancé" (engaged) for his potential marital status, expressing shock at family obligations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CABINET GOSSIP. (By Lire’s Special President- Elect.) S the Fourth of March draws nearer gossip concerning | the probable make up of my Cabinet appointments grows more and more prolific. In conversation with a prominent Independent last evening I learned that Mr, Schurz expects to assume charge of the Interior Portfolio, He certainly has the Interior track and on the principle that the Cabinet should have length as well as breadth Schurz's chances seem of the best. As far as Mr. David Davis is concerned I am uncertain. True Mr. Davis is an out and out Independent, but he would be likely to prove a dead weight on my hands, and I say the Democratic party will be White Elephant enough for me without trying any experiments with Davis, to say nothing of the danger of bringing alliteration into State councils. If D. A FEW STATEMENTS. B State for an artist—Colorado. BEST State for a doctor—Md. BEST territory for atramp—Wash. Best State for a toper—R. I. | rock). | WorTH more than nine States put to- | gether—Tenn. BEST State for hogs—Penn. Worst State of health—Ill. THE State we like the best—Me. BEST State for wealthy sinners—Mass. BEST State for dogs—Ky. (yi). BEST State for a poor shot—Miss. Best State for Arabs—Ala. BEsT State for those who can’t pay—O. BEsT State for a flood—Ark. ALICE? Ky. TWO States oftenest together— Wis. D. does get anything it will be the Exterior Department or | Aunt Sophia: OH, HERE'S A CAB. the Coast Survey. The rumor that Mr. Davis hasn't seen | his feet for twenty years, and can not therefore exactly tell | where he stands, accounts for much of the distrust with | which he is viewed. For the Treasury Department the demand is much greater | than the supply. There is by no means enough Treasury to go round, as every third man in the party wants it. Civil | Service Reformers say that no‘one in the Treasury should be removed save by Providence or for cause. Life Insur- ance men state that if I wait for Providence to remove officials, no able-bodied Democrat will get a show un- til 1920, which makes the outlook for Democracy, if Civil Service Reform principles are carried out, remarkably maza- rine, Marcy's declaration that “To the victors belong the spoils” inclines many Democrats to revise the old proverb of the rod and the child to “ Spare the spoils and rile the Party.” When my letter was published, considerable anxiety was caused among members of both parties. Those that are in are afraid that they won't stay in, while those that are out fear lest they have to stay out. It is thus that he who expects to please all pleases none, and in trying to perform the two stool act finds himself seated on airy nothing. It is THE PIT-FALLS OF PARIS. WHAT'S FRENCH FOR ‘ENGAGED,’ Alice: FIANCE, DEAR. Aunt Sophia: O, YES (calls), COCHER! ETES VOUS, FIANCE? JE vous BEST State for miners—Ore. PRENDS. Worst State of all—Texas. Cabby (soliloguizing) : ETONNANTES CES ‘AME ET MOI QUI SUIS PERE DE FAMILLE ENCORE! RICAINES. comicbooks.com