Life, 1884-11-13 · page 11 of 16
Life — November 13, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 277 This page contains two satirical pieces about financial crime and hypocrisy in the Gilded Age. **Top section ("An Adopted Citizen"):** A first-person monologue by a fugitive bank cashier who confesses to reckless stock speculation, grain gambling, and embezzlement. He admits losing depositors' money on bad investments, then stealing the remaining securities before fleeing the country. The satire targets both the cashier's shameless admission and the era's financial corruption—the "adopted citizen" reference suggests immigrant criminality was a contemporary anxiety. **Bottom section ("From a Business Point of View"):** A clergyman rebukes a widow for sparse church attendance since her husband's death at sea, urging her toward religious consolation. Her brother retorts that they've received an $8,000 insurance check instead—implying material compensation matters more than spiritual comfort. The satire critiques the clergy's presumptuous moralizing while suggesting insurance has replaced faith as society's true consolation. Both pieces satirize late-19th-century American values: financial dishonesty, materialism over morality, and the hypocrisy of institutions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: 277 So I gave my talent the widest range In making a dash on the Stock Exchange, Where bulls and bears give thundering knocks To the fancy prices of fancy stocks; Where margins by millions melt away Like chunks of ice on a summer's day. I plunged with all my might and main Into the sport of gambling in grain ;— Went short on pork, and of lard was long, And made other transactions, equally wrong ; Bought oil for more than the stuff was worth, And found it the slipperiest thing on earth. “ Where's the money?” oh! you be blest ! The brokers got some ;—and I got the rest. Surely it can’t be called my fault That I left nought but the fireproof vault, And a lot of boxes of varnished tin With alleged “ securities” within. Of course I took the securities out And secretly put them up the spout. And so, with the funds at my command, I'll take a trip to a distant land. I skip ;—I escape ;—I mizzle ;—I fly: A fugitive Bank Cashier am I! AN ADOPTED CITIZEN FROM A BUSINESS POINT OF VIEW. FEW days ago young S—— and his sister Mrs. C—— whose husband was lost on an ocean steamer last spring, were coming out of the new building of the Mutual Life Insurance Company of New York, when they encoun- tered the Rev. Mr. X——. The reverend gentleman is so well known to many New Yorkers that we refrain from giv- ing his proper initials. In a rather ill-timed speech he re- buked Mrs. C—— upon her pew being so constantly empty since her husband's death, and wound up by saying in his sternest manner, and in a voice that drew the attention of those about them, that most women in her situation would be seeking the consolation of religion. Mrs. C-—— is at heart a very religious woman and was completely taken aback and mortified at such an unexpected tirade. Her brother, how- ever, was indignant at what he considered an impertinent and uncalled-for officiousness. “ The consolation of snsur- ance,” he said, “ we have just received in the shape of a check for eight thousand dollars. When you can go that anything better let us hear from you,” and he calmly led his sister from the scene, leaving the Rev. Mr. X—— in a “ purple silence.” A DRavuGutTy old Building: The Bank of England. COMBINATION COMBINATION No. comicbooks.com