Life — July 31, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SEA SERPENTS—A faculty peculiar to confirmed inebriates only. Goop advice is like a policeman, in that it is often to be met with when unsought, but when really wanted, sel- dom, if ever, to be found. THE newest wrinkle in sporting in- telligence is a proposed spelling match between John A. Logan and Joaquin Miller. Wagers on the result are about even. A CORRESPONDENT would like to know where the elephant is found. Almost anywhere, good sir, almost anywhere in these parts. It is difficult to lose him, you know—he’s so large. “QUANTUM suff” (feeling translat- ed the morning after)—“ How I have suffered !” “STICK to your last ’—especially if it isa 1g cent “Henry Clay.” LEX TALIONIS. ] I E offered me his heart and hand, Whereat I laughed and said him nay ; But found too late that when he went He took my happiness away. And so I wrote a little note: “Dear Jack,” it asked, with sweet design, THE man who remains out till 24 o'clock can be said to be having a high old time. “In love is’t fair to change one’s mind?” Said he: ‘It is—and I've changed mine !”" A HIGH-TONED man—a tenor. VICE versey—spring poetry. BEHIND the bars—the singer that does n’t keep up with the accompanist. ——e = = | M.E.W. ilization, towed out into the middle of the Atlantic and left there to become water-logged—not fire-water-logged, as at present—until it sinks to rise no more. But this patient, long-suffering public has a still greater nuisance to contend with. Greater, because it is composed of men of some influence socially and who ought to know better. We refer to the so-called Sunday Closing Committee and Mr. Anthony Comstock, who now rise in their self-righteousness and endeavor to deprive the hard-working man of the only pleasure he can enjoy after his week of hard toil. In attempt- ing to interfere with the Sunday music in the Park, the value of which is attested by the fact that thousands of our poor are present to listen to it Sunday after Sunday, these gentle- men have been guilty of a gross outrage and have abused the power, such as it is, tacitly allowed them by the public. Let these righteous men, who consider themselves too pure for this world, go down among the tenement houses and see those whom they would deprive of innocent enjoyment. Let them put themselves in like positions. Let this modern Peck- sniff, who while decrying all sorts of vice is still receiving a share of the profits from his book based upon what he has seen on the dark side of New York, this art censor who strains at gnats and swallows camels, put himself in the place of that overworked man_ who leaves his wretched home at six in the morning, to return to it twelve hours later, having had no rest all day. Let him make himself as the poor seamstress who toils both night and day-for the scant food and home, which is a prison in comparison with what these virtuous gentlemen who constitute the committee are pleased to call by the same name! ‘Would Mr. Comstock and his followers then raise their eyes to heaven in holy horror that such a godless thing as music should be allowed in the Central Park on Sunday, the only day of the week when there was an opportunity for such enjoyment ? comicbooks.com