Life — July 31, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

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62 No! so belittle themselves. If these gentlemen would only close the thousands of low | resorts in this city, which tend to harm him who can have no other pleasures, surrounded as he is; or visit a few of the gambling hells without allowing them twenty-four hours’ notice of such intention, the public might be indebted to them. As it is, they are nothing more nor less than a most pre- posterous though respectable nuisance, of which the public would be well rid. THE COMSTOCK POLAR FUND. N. Y., JULY 23d, 84. DITOR of Lire: I send herewith one lead nickel, one empty Apollinaris bottle, three pairs of trousers, and a white plug hat for the Comstock Expedition, as proposed in your last. Y'rs, A. SAWDOFF. * * % “LiFe has got the right end of this business. No place like the North Pole for the Society for the Prevention of Ice! Let the proceeds of this joke be my contribution to the fund. “ VERITAS.” [NorE: The fund is credited with $.003 as requested.— Ep. LIFE.] P * * * “Great and only LIFE: “Please find enclosed one Russian Bath Ticket for the pro- posed Comstock Expedition. When the Earthly Angel com- mences to freeze, let him use this ticket. In case he kicks at this and says he can’t use it when he wants it, just refer him to one of the thousands of workingmen, who can only find time to recreate on Sunday, and whom he attempts to deprive of his only opportunity for so doing. SOLID SE! * * * DEAR AND RESPECTED SIR: I send this day by American Express the MSS. of my latest novel entitled “‘ The Je-Ne-Sais-Quoisity of the Qu’estceque- c’estisit,” which you may dispose of for the benefit of your Sunday Closing Committee Polar Fund. Yours, HENRY JAMES. [1400 pounds of paper at seven pounds for one cent, $2.00 to the credit of the fund. Ep. LIFE.] * * * Telegram. Lire: Suspend your subscription for the Comstock Polar Fund. I do not wish to go. A. COMSTOCK. [That ’s all right, Mr. Comstock. We rather expected you ’d decline, but really now you must know that this is one of those honors which the public are anxious to thrust upon you. So pack up, Mr. Comstock, pack up !. Ep. LIFE.] We hardly think Mr. Comstock, or Mr. Parsons, or | any other of the self-constituted Saints of New York, would | -LIFE- THE INDEPENDENT REPUBLICAN CONFER- ENCE. N Tuesday last your correspondent being fully equipped with paper, pen, and pink press ticket entered the | portals of the University Club Theatre to give the moral sup- port of his personal lungs to the cause of Independence and defeat of Sir Jingo Blaine. It was with some reluctance and a linen duster that I walked up the stairs to thus identify with the opposition to the Plumed Knight, for in case of his election next November I will have an awkward time in convincing the Magnetic Candidate of my fitness for the position of paragrapher to the Congressional Record, which position Elkins has offered me, provided I toot for the ticket. My foresight is not as good as my hindsight by a “ —— sight,” so to speak, but from the present prognostications I rather opine that the Elkins ticket will be a sort of “ticket-of-leave”” next Fall, so I may be safe in whooping it up for'the kickers. The Hall was crowded to its utmost capacity, every nook, corner and some delegates being fullto the brim. The report- ers occupied something less than one half of the room, while behind them sat the Independent party in full bloom. By a rough estimate the census of the meeting consisted of some four hundred souls, and had an analytical chemist been present, he would no doubt have found’ its composition to be as follows : Pharisees Dudes.... , Kickers ..... ws “ -3j0 “ « Democrat: og, & Blaine... + not quoted 100 per cent. At eleven o'clock a gentleman with some moustache and more voice enquired if there were any present from New Jersey. Only two gentlemen would acknowledge it. They were invited out to choose a chairman from among themselves to act as spokesman. Up to the hour of going to press they had not broken the deadlock in the midst of which they found themselves on the first ballot. Rhode Island organized more harmoniously as only one representative appeared. He was unanimously chosen chair- man of his delegation. He denies, however, that he voted for himself and his case is now being considered by the com- mittee on credentials. No gentleman from Wisconsin appearing, a policeman was dispatched to Madison Sqnare, where two tramps, having no visible means of support, and no particular town or state to hail from, nobly espoused the cause of all the absent States. Mr. George William Curtis called the meeting to order at 11.30, and nominated one member of the ,Democratic party, Col. Codman, for president of the conference, and all the other members for vice presidents. comicbooks.com mani