Life — February 21, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Patricius De Vere O'Dowd did not faint, but heroic- ally crumpling up the offensive missive he hissed between his incisors, “ Heartless girl.” And going out he exchanged the gorgeous valentine for a pack of cigarettes. And all was o'er. About this same time as Amarylis McGettigen was absorbed in the weekly instalment of the thrilling story of “ Slashing Sarah, the Seraphic Slugger,” an envelope was presented to her. “Ah,” she murmured, eagerly snatching it, “he loves me still and has sent the valen- tine which he hinted at." “Alas for human hopes.” (She didn’t say this, but it comes in parenthetically appropriate.) She opened the envelope. It was a valentine re- presenting an angular female in undress, minus teeth, pre 8 8 . | ‘hess it has been to get up emblems have never traded much at grocer- hair, etc., etc. It bore the simple legend, “ A Fright.” “Oh, the brute !” she shricked, and fainted. Her brother and his chum viewed the scene through the keyhole. To our hero and heroine there is now a touching per- | sonal application about the song “ We never speak as we pass by.”” D. Dinwippy. ‘Tue Maltese cross—an ill-natured cat. Fulmen brutum—drunken men are brutes. THouGH a kerosene burner may be very heavy, the oil will make the lamp light. ~A Million Dollars OF INSURANCE ON THE LIVES OF =~ RENDER VNTO SCISSORS THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE SCISSORS > A MONUMENT to Wendell Phillips is already talked of in Boston. Lucky that he won't be alive to criticise it when it is erected.—Hart- Sord Post, Now that Tennyson is a real British peer, the aristocratic circles of this country will not receive his name with such a vacant stare —7he Judge, “Papa, what is meant by ‘an anomaly ?"" “An anomaly, my son,” replied the father, "fs a man who pays his gas bill without referring to the company as a thief."—PAiladelphia Call. In all ages and all countries the scales have been the emblem of justice. From this it is painfully evident that the fellows whose busi- ies and provision stores.—Lowell Citizen. IN a glove fight at Cleveland, on Tuesday night, one of the bruisers received such a terrible blow under the ear that he was knocked sense- less, and it required ten minutes for a physician to resuscitate him. There should be a law fining a physician $50,0co for being present at a prize fight.—Norr. Herald. Tue public are mighty particular about trifles, It was reported, some time ago, that Mr. Barnum was to have a sacred white elephant from Siam, ~ Instead of accepting this statement without question, as every statement made by Mr. Barnum should be accepted, the public | went to nosing around ; but they did n't find out anything; that is to say, nothing of importance. ‘To be sure, they ascertained that the elephant is not white, is not sacred, and that sacred elephants, white, black, blue or gray, are unknown in Siam; but with these trifling exceptions, Mr. Barnum's coming attraction is beyond peradventure a sacred white elephant from Siam. The veteran showman is to be con- gratulated upon his success in establishing the animal's character in the face of hostile criticism.— Boston Transcript, ‘THE VICTIMS OF THE “City of Columbus” or “Crested Butte Mine,” IF THEY HAD HELD IT, COULD AND WOULD HAVE BEEN PAID WITHOUT DELAY OR DEDUCTION, BY The Travelers Life and Accident Insurance Company OF HARTFORD, CONN. Any other Accident Company in America would be destroyed by it! OR ANYTHING LIKE IT. We have a surplus of nearly $2,000,000 to meet just such emergencies. With all this Security, our rates are very low, and our contract clear and equitable. We issue also Life Policies of every desirable form. Apply at once to any Agent, or the Home Office at Hartford. ‘ JAMES G. BATTERSON, President. RODNEY DENNIS, Secretary. JOHN E. MORRIS, Asst. Secretary.