Life — March 1, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN IMPENDING FASHION. What the mashers will be driven to if the streets of New York are not better cleaned. MOUNT DESERT. (The Metre in this poem is fur- nished by the government, The gas, by A. Tennyson. The lan- guage of the refrain by the London Spectator, The moral sentiments, by Henry James. The kiss under the rose was taken from Life. The rest of the poem is our own.) I. The maidens blaze along the bays; Men sport the flannel shirt ; The matrons dose at home in rows— O my! O Mount Desert ! I, Canoodlers splash, the mashers mash, The rock girls spring alert ; Piazza girls arrange their curls— Omy! O Mount Desert! Il. "Mid grasses lush young men pour mush In ears of many a flirt ; Perhaps there goes bencath the rose— O Mount Desert ! Iv. My country ! thee hath Liberty Of effete bonds ungirt ; O, let the Fowl of Freedom howl— Omy! O Mount Desert ! high, and bank accounts low ; but to court a girl will always be interesting and worthy of whatever time and thought and money a man can give. elements of diversion. Its possibilities are endless ; its risks are appalling. It requires nerve, patience, dexterity, self-sacrifice and self-control. It calls for the exertion of every faculty. It is a fine sport. “ But these boxing-matches are very dull. “Halloa ! here is Mace, and there comes Slade. See the crowd stare at them. Three rounds, is it ? * * * * * * It has all the “Tam glad it is over. Isay, Banks, how can you be interested by such things? I would rather go to see the animals in the Park.” RONDEL. FOR HER FAN, LOW, little breeze, along her cheek, Wander among her hair ; Play soft, fan-moved, nor dare Steal from her lips aught she may speak. Without, perchance the wind is bleak And cold and sad,—but there Laugh, little breeze, along her cheek ! The very breath of Heaven's meek Before her, and where’er Her fan commands, the air Will gladly go, nor ever seek Aught but to blow along her cheek. THE HOOP-SKIRT FAMINE. At the last meeting of the Society for Ameliorating the Con- dition of Goats, the report of the committee on tin cans and hoop skirts was read by Mr. Stibbles, the male member of the committee. After eulogizing the many good qualities of the interesting ani- mals for whose benefit the Society was established, the report went on to declare that it was a fact which could not be ques- tioned by any person who had studied the habits and proclivities of goats, that tin cans and hoop-skirts were their natural and favorite food. This was proved by an inspection of the localities they frequent. It was impossible to avoid the conclusion that they resorted to vacant lots for the purpose of feeding on tin cans and hoop skirts, Acting on this belief, the committee had per- sonally, and with the aid of several members of the Society, so- icited donations of abandoned tin cans and worn out hoop-skirts. Owing to the flourishing condition of the canning industry, the work of collecting tin cans had been eminently successful, and the committee had the satisfaction of observing that increased numbers of goats flocked to the lots in which the donations were distributed, With regard to the collection of hoop-skirts, the committee re- xretted to inform the Society that the result ot their efforts in that direction had not been very satisfactory. The scarcity of hoop-skirts was alarming, and its cause appeared to be a freak of fashion which had prevented those adjuncts of female appearl from being worn. The goats of New York were evidently suf- fering for the want of them ; but the committee could only call attention to this melancholy fact, requesting the Society for A. the C, of G, to devise a remedy for the destitution, Mr. Muller, a mild member with a bald head and weak eyes, moved that a committee be appointed to solicit subscriptions and donations for the purpose of reviving the hoop-skirt industry by establishing a factory. As he had had experience in the manu- comicbooks.com