Life — March 1, 1883 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

facture of hoop-skirts, he would be willing to take charge of the factory. : This gentleman was immediately crushed by Mr. Stibbles, who said that any person, not a born idiot, who had listened to the report of the committee, must know that hoop-skirts were not a palatable and convenient food for goats until they had been worn out and abandoned. It was easy enough to manufacture hoop-skirts, but gait another thing to cause them to be worn. Mr. Soloman Whiffet moved that a committee be appointed to solicit subscriptions and donations for the purpose of starting a weekly journal to be devoted to the advocacy of hoop-skirts as an article of apparel. As he had experience in journalism, he would be willing to act as editor. Miss Dr. Steiner rose to remark that she had heard too much of committees to solicit subscriptions and donations for this, that and the other object, the real purpose being to fill the pockets of some person who was out of a job. She went on to say that the intelligent audience which she was addressing did not need to be informed that if the ladies would create a demand for hoop-skirts by wearing them, the supply would speedily equal the demand. She enlarged with pathetic eloquence upon the sufferings of the unfortunate goats during the prevailing hoop- skirt famine, and called upon her sister ameliorators to come to their rescue and defy the edict of the tyrant, Fashion. The reform, she urged, should begin then and there. She had pre- pared a pledge, binding the signers to wear hoop-skirts, and she called upon every member of the society to come forward and attach her name to that pledge. For her part, she would pro- ceed to sign it oa the spot. Miss Skimplin rose to say that if she were endowed with such a superabundance of figure as had fallen to the lot of the Amelia- tress who had just spoken, she would be in favor of hoop-skirts ; but, as she had been blessed with a graceful form, the present style suited her exactly. She was of the opinion that none but fat women would sign the pledge which had just been offered to the Society. CAFE AU LAIT ANIMALS IN MOTION. - LIFE: 99 Miss. Dr. Steiner replied that if the goats were fond of skele- tons, she hoped the last speaker would be sutficiently self-sacri- ficing to donate her person to the promotion of the objects of the Society for A. the C. of G. During the noise and confusion that ensued a motion to ad- journ was decided to have been carried, the lights were ex- tinguished by order of President Pettigrew, and the meeting adjourned in comparative peace. Tue Germans are waking up at last to the beauties of the Temperance Drama. It is not that they have had “ Ten-nights in a Bar-room” translated into their lager-rythmic tongue. They have done better. They have been acting, at one of the German theatres in New York, a pair of plays setting forth the awful effects of an indulgence in fluid crockery. At least, we infer this to be the subject of the plays, judging only from the titles; one is called “ Wallenstein’s Lager,” and is probably directed at light drinkers, while the other, “ Wallen- stein Tod,” is aimed at the regular out-and-out tod- M. Louts BLanc bequeathed the Parisian children deserted by their parents the sum of 20,000 francs, and directed further that the Trustees, if they should think proper, should give to these children his own name. Doubtless it will be a satisfaction to the little Jaques s to know that they have now the privilege of writing out their surnames in full. CALVE CANEM. BY QYHE accompanying illustrations need but a word of explanation to be understood ; for the scientific manner in which Mr. Edward Huygh- bridghe has gone into the subject, his unremitting zeal and devotion, and the truly grand. and magnificent results he has already published are too well known to need repetition. which the motions of all animals are arrested and put down in black and white, regardless of their rapidity, has just come in the nick of time, for the habit of going wrong already confirmed ‘in man has, of late years, tainted His discovery of the “bestioscope” by comicboo! ks.com