Life — February 22, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

88 Coroner MERKLE has excited surprise by empanel- ing A. Oakey Hall, Edward Cooper, William R. Grace, Daniel F. Tieman, Smith Ely, Jr., and William H. Wickham, among his trusty jurors to find out how a lunatic in a hospital came to kill somebody. But the explanation is easy. The coroner found an ex- Mayor's nest. A CHEERFUL JOURNAL in Milwaukee, the Sentinel by name, bursts out into indignation at the election of arich man to be Senator from Colorado, merely be- cause he is rich, and entitles its article “Pluto’s Re- presentative.” But this does not mean that he ought to represent a less eligible place of residence even than Colorado, and one which has not yet been form- ally admitted into the Union. It only means that he is rich and that the critic meant to call him Plutus’s Representative. - LIFE: A cat that had been left to guard a granary went to Florida to fish and hunt. During the absence of the cat the mice played their usual games, and became so hab- ituated to them that after her return they continued to play the same, while the cat, refreshed and recreated, lay by the stove and ate bread and milk. After a while those who had lost grain came to the cat, and com- plained of the depredations of the mice. “It has been going on for a long time,” said the meek grimalkin, ‘and it would surprise you to hear how much has been stolen by those vermin; but I know nothing about it; I am as innocent as a new born kitten.” “Why, then, are you a Commissioner of Jurors ?"" demanded the com- plainants. German Text.—Zwei lager mit der pretzel—ja. Tue next cold-water orator who invades Ohio may confidently expect to be lynched. HORSES—AFTER ROSA BONHEUR. THE REASON WHY. E'VE new cast our manners, we've recut our coats, We've dropped our old welcome, so genial and bland, And we've drawn a new line twixt the sheep and the goats— For the voice of the Briton is heard in the land. The man we dislike is a ** beastly low cad And we seek opportunities carefully planned To drawl out ‘Oh rather ! a proper good fad "— For the voice of the Briton is heard in the land. The crutch stick is gone, but we've ‘*crooks," or else “balls,” And we flatter ourselves we are doing the grand When we carry our curly rimmed hats in the-"*stalls"— For the voice of the Briton is heard in the land. ‘Tis the latest new phase of the latest new sham, Which now stands securely, though built upon sand, Till some far-seeing tailor with clamor and flam Shall force some new craze on this suffering land. Puiuir Hay. “THE attention of advocates of the coals-of-fire treatment for injuries received, is called to the late difference between Senator Ingalls and Dr. Patton of the Baptist Weekly. In eulogizing the late Senator Ben Hill, Senator Ingalls made statements which prompted Dr. Patton to call him names (¢. g., an infidel and a heathen), and to say that his remarks on the late Senator were imperti- nent. No man who respects himself will submit tamely to be called “a heathen.” Senator Ingalls duly retorted that he was sorry he had not entire confidence in End- less Perdition, since he would be glad to feel certain that Dr. Patton was going there. Then followed Dr. Patton’s flank movement with the warming pan, which took the form of the expressed wish that the Senator’s mind might be enlightened be- fore it was forever too late. This was a proper retort, but its force seems to us to be weakened by one fact. We understand that the copy of the Baptist Weekly containing Dr. Patton’s strictures was mailed by that gentleman to Senator Ingalls with the article marked. After stirring up the comicbooks.com