Life — February 22, 1883 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Arthur, who regarded the occasion as a happy one for getting into society, was seeking to mi himself agreeable to the beauty and fashion of Newport, who were all there. There was a broil- ing sun, and the bench found their ermine collars and horse-hair wigs rather oppressive, The Court assigned Harlan, J., and Gray, J.» as bottle-hold- ers to the champions. A slight delay was caused by the appearance of the champions with bare legs and arms, certain judges holding that they should have been attired in dress suits and white kid gloves ; but the Marquis of Queensberry, as amicus curia, ruled to the contrary, citing 3. Blackstone 338; P. R. Rules, passim, The champions, Sullivan and Slade, then took the usual oath against sorcery: ‘* Hear this, ye justices, that I have this day ne ate, ne dronke, ne ave upon me neither bone, stone, ne grasse, ne any New York mandamus, St. Louis seven-shooter, ne District of Columbia jury, whereby the law of this Court may be abased, or the law of the Devil exalted. $.H.M.B.P." Slade had not sluiced his ivory for a week, and Sullivan's can- vas was prime. Hardly had they finished shaking hands, before Sullivan slugged Slade in the eye, while the latter countered on the smeller, Blatchford, J., cried out at this, objecting that cross evidence should not he put in until after all points were made in chief; Gray, J., refused ab- solutely to take judicial knowledge of the word smeller without a formal inuendo, Great com- motion was caused by the entry of H. R. H. the Prince of Wales, and the consequent rush of New York society young ladies to pour spoonfuls of ice- cream down his back ; and Robinson of New York moved to commit the British lion for contempt of Court; but Wales pleaded the contempt of the Court of St. James, for Robinson, in set-off, which Gray, Jus was much pleased to allow. and Round. | The Slugger made play with his left, and Slade butted him in the waist, producing a temporary injunction; Harlan ruled out this evidence in rebuttal, as premature; while President Arthur interrupted the trial to get Gray, J., and the Marquis of Queensberry to introduce him to the Princess of Wales, Robinson loudly condemn- ing the President for observing the social customs of an effete aristocracy: 3d and final round. Slade got Sullivan into chancery. Conkling complained that the Court had no equity jurisdiction. Gray, J., said this was certainly a very common law proceeding; and the Court were with him. Blatchford thought a bill quia timet would lie for Slade; and Blaine said anything would lie for Conkling. The North Carolina Judge resented Waite’s ruling, bein anxious to see the fght go on ; but before he could get a draw on the Chief Justice, he was handed by Mr. Schurz a copy of the New York Nation on Southern homicide, This soft answer turned away his wrath, and he fell upon the neck of the Serjeant-at-Arms and wept. Atthis juncture, Slade was discovered to be dead ; and the Court, resolv- ing itself into a coroner's jury, gave verdict that he died by act of God and due process of law. Judgment was given for Sprague; and he invited the bench of the U. S, Supreme Court to a dinner party at Canonchet Castle, and the marshal re- ported that a full bench attended. The costs of the battle were paid by the United States, as is the law in appeal of felony ; and the plaintiff and defendant divided $862,400 of gate- money. udgment for Deft. laine and Slade for Deft. Conkling and Sullivan the SLuGGER for PIff. A GILDED YOUTH. Well? Iv 1S A GILDED YOUTH. Is itnot a pretty dear? Ou, VES! IT 1S AS PRETTY AS A LITTLE RED wacon ! Who made it? IT 18 SELF-MADE, BUT THE PATTERN WAS IMPORTED. Was it expensive to make? NERY COSTLY. Figure it up. Cravat ann Pin, Smixt Cottar, Orner Crotuinc, Watcn ann Cuain, Jerr 'ASM ON HAND, Epucation, . « Experience, Total, . Quite costly! What dividend ts the investment paying? 1s RUN- NING EXPENSES ARE MUCH TOO GREAT FOR IT TO PAY DIVIDENDS ‘THERE ARE MONTHLY ASSESSMENTS ON ITS STOCKHOLDERS. There are persons then who take stock init?) OH, YES, PLENTY; FOR IT HAS VERY PLEASINGWAYS, rr 13) 4 + 7” 100,00 ++ 350.00 + 25.00 14) bw Dyas 30,020.00 + = $04318.50 A FELLOw feeling that doesn’t make us wondrous kind.—The pickpocket. Atways free to confess.—The pronounced ritualist. comicbooks.com