Judge — September 22, 1928 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Vistron—Ye gods! What a noisy little burg! Native—Yes, it was very peaceful till everybody got to coming here for a rest. Straw Burying It had been a compromise from the beginning. Mrs. Keller had wanted it to be a floppy panama with a bright band. Mr. Keller wanted it stiff with a black band. It was stiff, but with a blue, brown and red band. Mr. Keller ed that band and now that stember required a ch Mr. -r had thankfully purchased ay felt. With a sigh of relief he sank into the rear seat of the trolley and dropped the offending straw into the street. The car stopped in ot nce to the red signal. A boy's shrill voice recalled the expansive Mr. ‘eller to things mundane. An rurchin on the running board was proffering the discarded hat. With a groan he received it. After supper he took the of- fending headgear with him on his way to pinochle at the local Club. Detouring two blocks to the river, with a heartfelt malediction he hurled the hat into the water. Upon arriving home the next evening he was greeted by two policemen, a weeping wife—and the hat—soggy, but to his eye, jauntily malevolent. He had for- K a decent g gotten his name written in the lining at Maggie's frugal insis- tence. A couple of his best cigars for the cops, and a deal of sooth- ing for Maggie were required be- fore he was at liberty to glance at the object of the disturbance, When he did it was with red in his eye, and grasping its drying brim he spun it out the window. Unknown to the hurler, the hat kited out in a wide are and boom- eranged through the window of the Goetz flat, two houses down, coming to rest under the com- munal Goetz bed. There it was discovered a few minutes later by the very jealous Mr. Goetz. Im- mediately it was waved under the startled nose of Mrs. Goetz, to the accompaniment of much loud, accusatory language. The name DEAR WIFELESS BEFRIENDS ICON ANVIL DOOM APART FUEL. “J.B. Keller” was discovered and recognized. Exit Mr. Goctz, the hat and many calories of h inter Mr. Goetz into the Kel ler domicile, plus hat, plus much heated suspicion. Two heats flamed and fused into crackling words which solidified into crack- ing fists. Feminine shrieks vied with crashing furniture. In the midst arrived Mrs. Goetz and a bluecoat. Soon all were on their way to explain many things—at the police station. It was at this time that the hat quictly tumbled from the table to the floor, bringing Mr. Keller's discarded, but still warm cigar with it, into the evening papers. Alighting upon its brim, the hat rolled the few intervening feet to the hall and so down the steps. Hours later a wide-eyed Mr. Keller and spouse approached the departing firemen, Dazedly he gazed at the smoking débris which marked the site of his former home. A youth of the neighborhood approached him. “Well, ya didn’t’ lose every- thing, Mr. Keller,” he sa “Here's yer hat I saved for yo —B. Petton 20 comicbooks.com