Judge, 1927-07-23 · page 16 of 36
Judge — July 23, 1927 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces: **Top cartoon ("Father")**: A simple domestic joke where a father mentions getting "consolation out of my twins," and a startled friend asks "How's that?" The punchline—"Because they aren't triplets"—is a dark humor joke about managing expectations with fewer children than feared. **Bottom section**: An excerpt from "The Complete Speechmaker" by S.J. Perelman, presented as a manual for elegant replies. The text is a sarcastic military speech where a soldier being "railroaded" (falsely accused/court-martialed) from his regiment sarcastically thanks his superiors. The satire mocks military bureaucracy and injustice—the soldier ironically thanks those who framed him on dubious charges (claiming they were playing parcheesi, not gambling, when caught). **"The Taxi-Driver's Child"** illustration shows a chaotic accident scene, likely accompanying a humorous anecdote about reckless driving—typical Judge satirical content about modern urban life and social absurdities. The page exemplifies Judge's blend of domestic humor and institutional satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE prisoners look like a parcel of grammar school boys, and, in short, I was altogether too smart for you. Then you got sore be- cause I used to make up a little book now and then on the races at Belmont Park. Besides that you were jealous of the few pen- nies I used to pick up selling a quart of gin now and then to the brothers. It sort of grieved you to think that you’d never bumped onto the idea first; I’m wise to you, my bully boys! So you had the watchman snoop around and break in on what you thought was a big crap game. But the laugh is on you after all. We were only playing par- cheesi, and just because somebody mislayed the parcheesi board and I happened to drop some money on the floor at the time, you pulled an Arsene Lupin and diagnosed it as a real session. As if I'd waste my time on a paltry two or three bucks! Why didn’t you come around when we used to Frienp (startled)—How’s that? have a REAL game with REAL “Because they aren’t triplets.” jack on the floor? God knows I would have been glad to take you over the high hurdles! Fatuer—I get a good deal of consolation out of my twins. The Complete Speechmaker A Manual of Elegant and Appro- priate Replies for Every Occasion By S. J. Pererman President Crusinberry, Vokes, Members of th I can’t begin to describe to you my relief at being drummed out of this regiment. I h. spent the better part of three in this internment camp, and when I think back over it I feel giddy. Believe me, I wanted to fold up my tents a long time ago and give this barracks the berry, but I forced myself to stay here just as self-discipline. But now that you have so neatly railroaded me, bs I want to express my sincere oe > thanks to you all. When I use the term rail- roaded, I mean just that. You have been looking around a long while for some cheap stall to frame me on; some of the marks I got here made the rest of the The Taxi-Driver’s Child. comicbooks.com