Judge — July 23, 1927 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Well, boys, I can’t stand around here giving you good free advice; the old trunk is packed and I hear the 3.45 whistling down at the grade crossing. Did I hear somebody mutter something about twenty-four hours to get out of here? Say, gents, you must be senile to think I would WANT to stay around here twenty-four minutes more than I had to! And, by the way, there won't be any use in sending me besecching let- ters to come back once I've gone; if the place goes to wreck and ruin it’s only your own fault. [’'m going down to the Big Town to start a little three-card-monte racket with a friend of mine and I'll be too busy to answer your letters. And if you ever’ get train fare down there, look me up and I'll send you home clean. Shake bye-bye, lads, and don’t dab at your eyes even if you do know what a man you're losing; I hate emotion, Try This Test (A prominent automotive en gineer tells you how to recognize Aste ae era The young lady tennis star, called upon to rebuke her boy friend for bad manners while motoring, finds that she hasn't realized her own strength. the more common ailments in your car.) Valves leaking—Lack of power and missing, especially at low speed. Excessive carbon Knocking (sharp), and lack of power, all speeds. Worn piston rings—Fouling of spark plugs, excessive blue smoke. Lack of power, knocking, missing, slapping. Loose wristpins—Mild knock- ing at low speed, increasing to tumult like a wash-boiler full of pool balls. Assorted sometimes disappearing amor of high speed down- hill, Green smo! Loose main bearin, Axle rattles—You can’t pos- sibly miss these. People on the sidewalk will generally flee into the nearest doorway. Pistons indisposed — Intermit- tent slapping noise, such as a baby might make with a hammer and samovar. Lack of power, fouling of spark plugs, violent retching by steering wheel. Battery trouble — Mysterious knocking in starter. Lights go out, Lack of power in reverse. Luggage carrier falls off. —Sranrey Jones comicbooks.com