Judge — July 2, 1927 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A Page for the Pets Wes a few weeks ago I very kindly answered in these columns a number of letters from fair readers who had sought my advice on certain harassing prob- lems connected with —spring- cleaning, I did not anticipate the somewhat astonishing sequel which has now evolv For of late my d post has included several m es from children, of ages (judging by the calligraphy) varying from a few hours to the earlier teens, all craving light and guidance on the many perplexing questions that from e immemorial have puzzled the juvenile mind. Here before me lie your letters, you darlings, and now let me explain away all the difficulties which are worrying your dear, curly heads. BOBBIE (aged 3).—From the tone of your letter, Robert, you seem to be a perfect little beast, and I refuse to have anything to do with you. ERNIE (aged 14% want to know why the back of Uncle Henry's watch flies open when you puff it? Ah, Ernie! many older heads than yours have puzzled over this, though the planation is ly quite simple When you exhale, the force of your breath impinging upon the back of the watch acts as a kind of ellipsoidal fulerum, and Nursi has probably told you that pretty fairy story of Fechner’s Law which enunciates that the in- tensity of a sensation va directly as the logarithm of the stimulus, Thus you see that you have really established a dear Paral- lelogram of forces, which, acting lysis on the molecular com- ponents causes the sion to be modified inversely the square of the pressure ap- d. Naturally the back flies open. Wouldn’t your back do the same in similar circumstances? ERIC (aged 3).—The reason » sea looks blue, you mutt, e it really is blue. If it were really pink, it would be much harder to explain why it looks blue, because I should have to presuppose that you were ac- quainted with the elements, at least, of chromatology and spec- trum analy You go on to s you put some y that when er in your little bucket, it n't blue at all, and you were v ppointed, I’m surprised at you, Eric. You must pull yourself together. WILLIE (aged 5).—I can't say for certain what makes your Dadda’s tumtum stick out so in front. Possibly he belongs to several of those estimable elee- mosynary organizations, the mem- h meet periodically al dinners to discuss ion of very meager sus- tenance for the half-starved. LIZZIE MARIA (aged 7).— What a pretty name! Ye like —v your photograph—parts of it y much, but it is a pity about those freckles on your plump little cheeks. All the same, I think it’s very, very rude of big sister to call you Spotted Dick. Have you tried sandpapering your freckles, or washing your face in lunar caustic? As to your pug nose, a clothes- peg worn on it night and day would probably have the desired effect of ultimately converting it into a Roman. MABEL SYLVIA (aged 11). —If you wish to give Mums an acceptable birthday present, why not knit her a little egg-cosy? The following recipe will make an egg-cosy sufficient for two eggs: Ist row.—12 purl. Carefully tell over each purl, every one apart, to make sure you haven't inadvertently cast one be- fore swine, and then proceed: 2nd row.—6 plain, 6 colored. 3rd row.—6 treble, 6 mezzo- soprano, 4th row.—Chain, then set to partners, and finish off with a small purl button. Remember, Mabel, that all dropped stitches should be picked up and not left to make a litter on the floor. Keep them in your work-box. They will come in handy one day for darning the egg-cosy. EUSTACE HUMPHREY BASIL (aged 12).—Congratula- tions! and I’m glad you've had such a topping day for it. You are quite right, the “pretty lady” is undoubtedly your Momma, and equally certain the “silly-looking guy with the idiotic grin, who is making uncouth burbling noises” is your Pop. —Ashley Sterne in Passina Siow Serceant—But if he was on his hands and knees in the road, what makes you think he was loitering with intent to commit a felony? Vv y New Constaste—Bedad, sor, he was groping at th’ whoite line, saying he was going to r-r-roll it up and take it home to make a frieze for his bathroom, sor. —Passina Suow EDWARD LANGER PRINTING CO,, ING., JAMAIOA, N. 3. comicbooks.com