Judge — December 25, 1926 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A prof was calling the roll for the first time. he said, “is that ‘L’ “No,” came the reply, “it’s ‘Heinz’ as in ‘Baked Beans.’ ” —Northwestern Purple Parrot rr Paul—That wasn’t real Italian spaghetti we had for supper. Vera—How do you know? “Because real Italian spaghetti drops off your fork and goes ‘Wop’ on your plate.” —Georgia Tech. Yellow Jacket sae A lady from far Alabama, Was trying to wield a large hamma; But she hit her toenail, And was sent off to jail, For using such very bad gramma. —Centre Colonel tae “M’lord—could you give a poor man a pound?” “That I could —and right readily a kick too.” —California Pelican Gown—Do you know anything that is good for a cold? Town—Yes; but he won't sell it to students. —Gerryspure Cannon BALL “This Zimbalist is marvelous, isn’t he?” ”es, he sure can play those Zim- —C, C. N. Y. Mercury tae Punch—Did you hear the come- dian committed suicide? Bowl—Yes? “Uh-huh, Cut his jocular vein.” —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl Rated He—I want to buy a present for my wife. “Can I interest you in some silk stockings?” “Le see about the present first.” —Purple Cow tae “Ts she a careful girl?” “Yes, verily. She ponders nothing, very carefully, and then says it.” —Colorado Dodo Catal She—What’s a party platform? He—More gin, better girls, bigger —Cornell Widow allowance. “Do you believe in marriage?” “Only as a last resort.” —N. Y. U. MepLey sae A Scotchman in a Penny Arcade came across a punching-bag machine with a notice on it to the effect that if one hit the bag hard enough the penny would be returned. Friends found him two hours later, lying under the machine, uncon- scious, with both arms broken. —Brown Jug sas Cynthia—How is your husband? Dorothy—I haven't seen him for five years. I think I must have said something to annoy him. —Buffalo Bison sae May—I wouldn’t give you a straw if you were drowning. Kay—I wouldn't touch it if you did. —Bucknell Belle Hop Where Mitton—Great heavens! did you get that scar? Noau—Poker. “Cheating?” “No, flirting with the cook.” —Groraia Tecnu. YELLOW JACKET comicbooks.com