Judge — December 25, 1926 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Our Latest Song Hit ’29—Have you heard the news- boy's song? *30—No, what is it? “How Many Times?” —Western Reserve Red Cat Vorcr Orrstace—Bill made a for- tune out of his oil well. Tue Horseman—I didn’t know he struck oil. “He didn’t, but he pulled up the well and sold it for post holes.” —CauirorNnia Penican Tragedy The shipwrecked man_had been wandering on the desert island for three days. Food nor drink he had | none during all that time. His tongue hung out a foot. Suddenly he saw before him a pile of small cubical boxes. “Food! Food!” cried the famished man as he rushed forward and seized one of the boxes. But the poor fellow | felldead. For on the box were these | | “My accusers are right. I am a liar.” “T don’t believe you.” —Norre Dame Juacier horrible words: “Now you'll like bran!” —lIllinois Siren ad “Gosh, I had a narrow escape last night.” “How’s that?” “Well, I woke up in the middle of the night and saw something white moving in the room. So I grabbed my gun and shot it. After I turned the light on, I found it was my shirt.” “T don’t see any narrow escape to that.” “Why, just suppose I hadn’t taken my shirt off last night.” —Northwestern Purple Parsot Hs She—Take back your diamond ring. It’s paste. He—Better keep it, girlie; a paste on the hand is worth two in the eye. —Cincinnati Cynic | L One way of beating the army. Gordon—Jim’sh goina Europe. Jin—Shasho! Wha'sa dope? “He’sh shailin’ ona shixsha De- schember.” “Sha damfine boat. on ’er las’ shummer!” —Princeton Tiger Wen’ over PtH “Stop sniffing, little boy. Can’t you do something with your nose?” the austere old lady asked on the crowded street car. returned the lad politely, p it out of other folks’ Fas Jedge—Y ou are charged with strik- ing the defendant. What cher got to say fer yerself? Answer—Well, she asked for it. “How come?” “She asked me to fetch her a wrap and I fetched her a darn good one.” —Rensselaer Pup —Yate Recorp comicbooks.com