Judge — December 25, 1926 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “I wonder you read them comic papers, Bert. nasty silly joke about plumbers.” A Man About Town (Continued from page 14) the Manhattan Opera House. There was nothing playing at the Manhat- tan Opera House that night, but it didn’t make much difference to Robert who could always get seats there the last minute because he knew the man at the box office, “Andrew Fox.” Robert really knew lots and lots of people because he had been in the hardware business for six years and there are lots of people in the hardware business. Robert was the first man in the hardware busi- ness to start the “Don’t Put Tacks in Your Mouth” campaign. In after years Robert claims there will be few people left who will put tacks in their mouths while they are tack- ing instead of putting them in a cigar box, an empty drawer, an old or some place where they would be much safer. One day Robert was walking down the other side of the street hardly realizing that he would run into none else than Harry Doff who was diet- ing at the time because he had some trouble with his stomach. “What are you doing on that street car?” he shouted at the top of his lungs. “T’m boarding it, can’t you see?” Harry shouted back in a loud, clear tone. Harry was well known in the neighborhood for boarding street cars. He also boarded dogs and Always got some —Humorist some cats while people were away in the summer. “T had a very funny dream about you,” Robert went on. ked Harry eagerly. y what?” inquired Robert. “Why nothing—that’s just sort of an expression.” “First I dreamed I was in a quan- dary,”” Robert went on. “What was it like?” “I don’t remember exactly except that it wasn’t very well furnished. And I didn’t sleep very well,” Rob- ert continued. “In this quandary I dreamed I was matching pennies and tossed in my sleep all night.” “So long,” and they shook hands. Up to the day when Robert at- tended a physical culture and hy- giene lecture, Robert never used to give the care of his body much thought. Once in a while he used to exercise his authority but that was about all. This he did with some special apparatus he had made for that purpose. But Robert found out, as others will, that there is lots to exercise besides one’s authority. Take oatmeal, for example. Oat- meal is grown in thirty-two States in this country and is used in sym- bolic fashion on the State seal of Maryland. If you doubt this just take the State seal out some time and look at it. So it was that Robert would take oatmeal every morning for break- fast after he attended the lecture on physical culture and hygiene. That is, he would take it unless it had lumps in it. He never liked lumps—except possibly in his coffee in the morning, but that was differ- ent because they were made out of sugar. Stanley Rauh. SIH We understand that Gene Tunney is writing a book. A sort of scrap- book, we presume. —Everybody’s “Just look at those two modern girls, George.” “Yes, I don’t know what we're coming to.” —London Opinion comicbooks.com