Judge — December 11, 1926 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JU DGE j Individual surf-board, plus municipal rotary belt, eliminates the auto and traffic problem. | Letter from a Boob Abroad EAR JupGe—I guess you are wondering what I am doing up here in this jerkwater town. Well, T'll tell you. It seems there used to be a guy named Shakespeare lived | here way back in the days before | Prohibition. He was a regular wow as a poet and used to write obituary pomes for the weekly paper. He also had a sort of a medicine show where he did his own stuff, and I just came up here to give the place the once over. It cost me a shilling to get into the house they said he was born in. It wasn’t worth it. I’m telling you this, JupGE, so if you ever come over here you won’t waste your shilling. | eosee _—4 45 BAA I've seen better houses in the Bronx. It needed redecorating badly. The walls were in terrible shape, and I don’t think that the plumbing has been fixed since Bill died. Besides I found out that the house wasn’t built until a long time after he was born. Some tourist had come along wanting to see Bill's birthplace and so they erected this ramshackle house, because it wouldn't do to have folks come around asking for some- thing they didn’t have. Bill is buried right up in front of the pulpit of a funny looking church on the bank of the river and on his tombstone is the following verse: “Ciood frend for Jesus sakd forbeare To digg che dest encloased heare Blest be ye man yt spares thes sto And curst be he yl moves my bone They still have services in. the church, but it doesn’t make any dif- ference to Bill. He keeps right on cursing anybody who bones in his misspelt w his moves the sermon and doesn’t pay attention to the preacher than he did when he was alive and kicking. I walked out to Ann Hathaway's cottage. Ann, you know, was the girl Bill married. Ann wasn’t at home, so they charged me another shilling to get in. It was filled with old worn-out furniture and needed new flooring. They told me Ann's people lived in the same house for over four hundred ‘s. Imagine that! I guess, JupGe, they thought I looked pretty dumb, hey? Hoping you are the same, Historically, Stratford-on-Avor, England. Nate Collier THE SEVEN-LEAGUE BOOTLEGGER And gosh, how he could deliver! | comicbooks.com