Judge — September 4, 1926 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Ugly Duckling Ove upon a time a mamma duck named Freda was hatch- ing out a bunch of eggs. She was tending strictly to business because she had a date to go to a night club with somebody. Well, pretty soon she hear half-dozen or so loud “Quacks!” and since she was a pretty wise old bird and knew her Freud backward and forward, she felt sure it wasn’t merely the patter of rain. Sure enough, there they were, An- thony, Irving, Alyce, Toby and Ralph, four nice marriageable boys and a strong girl for the housework. But one egg still remained whole. The new members of the family gathered around and took a strong interest in what went on. Suddenly the shell of the last egg broke and out stepped Charlic. Charlie's face was a total loss; he couldn't even enter a World’s-Homeliest-Duck-Contest. The other birds let out a big laugh. dearie med A You ought to see a beauty spe ist!” Nasty cracks showered down on Charlie from all sides and he fled JUDGE Charlie's Cousin over to his mother fer sympathy. But she only gave him a black look. “You certainly booby hatch!” turned this into a venomised, and she turned her back on him. thing and another, Charlie had an awful time of it. The other ducks got all the sugar and Charlie got apple sauce. He never went to any parties: he always had to stay home and watch the furnace, even in sum- mer. Once in a while his brothers would come rolling in at three in the morning raving about the wet par- ties they'd been on. ‘The only chance Charlie had to get near liquor was on somebody *s breath. Freda, his mother, was a heavy drinker but she always ate cloves so Charlie never got the goods on her. Well, a while, Charlie got sick and _ tire this sort of treatment; so one da went to his mother and said, * : Freda, have I got any relatives any- wher “Yes.” replied the old duck, “you got an uncle by the name of Friedman out on Long Island. He's in the advertising game.” “Well, T think VID stay at his house for a while.” said Charlie. ahead,” replied his mother hospitably, “if you never come back, that'll be too soon.” And she bade him Godspeed. So Charlie took a local out and (Continned on page 22) “Don’t be embarrassed, lady, I used to be a stage hand at the Follies.” comicbooks.com