Judge — December 19, 1925 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What Does She Mean by those Yuletide Yesses? T was Christmas Eve and man’s inhuman- ity te man was a myth in which nobody put much stock In the Purple Room of the Hotel Fabian saxaphones moaned, trom- bones oom-pahed, and clarinets howled. down at the dancers, moving his violin bow with an easy nonchalance. He was vei attractive and very young. He didn't realize yet that he was a personage; that would come later. The dancers fascinated him. They were people from another world. Kronin, the manager of the Fabian, had told Hal that the slim little girl with the roving eyes was the great Wellington Damerest’s daughter Myrtle Hal gave her a thorough once over as she danced past him, and smiled at her. During the next intermission a waiter brought him her note. “Get away as soon as you can and meet me in my car. It’s parked on the west side of the entrance.” Her license number followed and so did Hal. “Every man for himself,” he told the orchestra and strolled away for his debut into society. . . . aaa If you’ve ever wondered how much a girl really means by what she says —and does—on Christmas Eve, you can find out by reading “Yuletide Yesses” in the current issue of Snappy Srorrzs. : Date.. JUDGE 627 West 43d Street, New York, N.Y. I want JupcE for myself. I have checked below the offer I accept. Herewith is $1.00 (check, , stamps, money-order) for 10 weeks of JupcE. Herewith find $5.00 (check, cash, money-order) for one year's subscription to JUDGE. An Interview With Turner T. Terney s I enrerep the home of Turner T. Terney, I realized imme- diately that it could only belong to a successful man.. No person of moderate means could afford so many well-stocked ceflarettes. And indeed, I was right, for it was just as I thought when I entered the home of Turner T. Terney, “Inter- national Champion Page Turner,” “Veteran of Innumerable Piano Recitals” and “Idol of the Music Loving Throngs of Iceland, Blue Island, Staten Island, America and Yellowstone Park.” “Mr. Terney is practicing,” the butler advised me. “He always turns four or five hundred pages of an afternoon to keep his finger muscles from getting stiff and to keep his agility up to par. He’s worn out several telephone books, three sets of encyclopedia and an unabridged dictionary already this season, but he’ll be through the city directory in a few minutes, if you care to wait.” I glanced at the cellarettes and said I’d be only too happy to. Td not had more than three high- balls when Mr. Terney came in (through the city directory), moving with that jaunty cartwheel motion that stamped him as one of the really active Rotarians of this country. He came to a halt in front of me, standing on his hands, but immediately noticed his error and hurriedly put himself right. “Mr. Terney,” I began, “I repre- sent one of this country’s leading musical journals, with a circulation well up in the exaggerations, ‘The Musical Sweet Potato, a Paper for People Who'll Puff.” My object in calling upon you this afternoon was to learn the story and secret of your success, how you got your start, why some one didn’t stop you, what your opinion on the French debt and American skyscrapers is, how you like American women, where do we go from here, and how’s your Uncle?” “Very well,” answered Mr. Terney, placing the twinkle, that all suc- cessful men wear. when they are being interviewed, in his eye, where should I begin?” “Right here would be a good place,” I suggested, taking another look and another drink at one of the cellarettes. So Mr. Turner began his story, on the spot. “I was born on April 1, 1897. On April 1, 1898, I turned one. That was my first turn. From then on I just kept working up, up, up, turning here, and turning there until i i 3] 26 Vale OF UNDRESSED KIDS LOST IN THE CANYONS oF TUE CHIFFONIER MOUNTAINS IL CD TMT TT BELLICOSE BUTTON HOLES Puy. ING “HEIR BIENNIAL GAME oF BUTTON, BUTTON, WHOS GOT TH’ BUTTON) ON -HE BACK DRENCE CURIOUS CORNSTALI WITH IT5 EAR 7 “THE KEYHOLE LISTENING- In 3 SEU YoU OMe O ean. CHILD GreAnvror, You Ticked cucumBer Out Look- ING FoR A GooD -Time. oT ANY Hippy KANoRIOUS HIFALUTiN' ines 2 coun se My AW ZERO Ts Is A Don't Be Aaeo AND DECREPID, THER — MOMETETe, WITH ONE CRUTIA AND THE feHEUMATISM, PLAY- IN@ AG WITH ZERO. ; es SAccaots CE 2 ASHES 4 A TN 4 ’ RS PooR, HOMELESS, BROWEN HEARTED “TOMATO CAN IN SACKCLOTH AND ASHES WEEPING ITS AS) BY THe wayside. flied? comicbooks.com