Judge — December 19, 1925 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SEEING AMERICA WORST Real Estate Section ETER JAMES SMITH, the accom- plished realtor, smiled benevo- lently at the little blonde thing be- side him and stroked the sleeve of the soft, seal-skin coat she was wearing. “Heh, heh,” chuckled P. J., “little beauty, isn’t it?” “It’s stunning!” replied the girl, her soft eyes smiling into his. “It’s adorable.” “Looks good on you,” commented Mr. Smith. “Never saw a sweller one, if I do say so.” : “There aren’t any,” asserted the girl. “It’s genuine seal-skin from top to bottom.” “Heh, heh,” said the eminent realtor, “I don’t mind spendin’ money, kid, for the right kind of stuff, don’t forget that.” “What do you suppose your wife will say when she finds out about it?” Peter James Smith winked signif- icantly. “She won’t find it out—for a while,” he replied. “Leave it to little old P. J. to keep a secret.” “But what,” continued the girl, “will she say when she does find out?” “Heh,” replied Smith, “the old girl’ll just about pass out, I suppose. No tellin’ what she’ll:say. I never had experience with her on this kind of stuff.” “You're adorable!” exclaimed the blonde girl. “Why, I—” “By the way,” interrupted the girl, “shall we send it right out to you, or do you want us to keep it here at the store until her birthday?” E. M. Curtis Battle cry of freedom: So’s yer old bant u Uudge pays $5 for each one printed Great Men I Have Known Ws you talk to him about the high cost of living he never says, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.” At the beach he doesn’t blurb: “Oh, the water’s warm when you get in it. It’s the air that’s cold.” When stumped for a retort he has never, “So’s your old man.” He can stand summer weather without using: “It isn’t the heat, it’s the humidity.” During the epidemic which struck the country two years ago, he never This tells the sad story of liver burst into song at the sight of Lord— bananas. He walked round a street car in Nor did he opine: ‘What this city front of a Ford. needs is a few more subways.” Yes, he’s a great man, and it’s a pity he’s been in a deaf and dumb has st ot a sn it ai, wanton edge POYS S510 €0C One prinesstAldénl] — asylum all his life. J. J. James RETURNED TRAVELER—Well, the human race is through. “What's the trouble—another war started?” “No—the fifth man has got pyorrhea!”” comicbooks.com _