Judge — August 1, 1925 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NCE every five years I make a trip to Coney O Island to see that everything is all right. I may report that I have once again done my duty. The result of a visit to Coney Island is some- thing like having told Jack Dempsey you were going to knock his block off. If you get back home with the top of your hat not missing, with half of your trousers still on you and both of your ears and at least. half of your nose intact, you may congratulate yourself. The chief diversion of the crowds at Coney seems to be eating frankfurters, *A-DoNT OV UKE RnS7—\ LiKe Pum AD compte //” lial RL. CARROLL. ra © QANITIES” | getting mustard all over their neckties and step- ping on people's feet. There are, to be sure, a few snobbish visitors who have no taste for frank- furters and stepping on other people’s fect. ‘These devote themselves, instead, to eating ice cream cones, letting the cream drip all over their shirts and bumping against people and knocking their hats off. When the crowds aren't devoting themselves to such divertisements, they may be found either bathing in the large banana sundae that Coney Islanders euphemistically call the Atlantic Ocean or sitting around tables ordering clam chowder and getting what is actually a plate of the Atlantic MHeties {(% Ocean. Having, through this fine exercise and EceRp. good food, gained a renewed measure of health Al YY and vigor, the crowds then repair to the pleasure parks and pay ten cents each for the privilege of losing their hats on the roller-coasters. Addi- tional jollities which improve the spirits of the crowds are fortune tellers who, for a quarter a sa throw, predict that the attending boobs will have wes much happiness in their lives, phrenologists who, for a like amount, tell them that the conformation of their craniums signifies a talent for the mastery of men, and astrologers who, for fifty cents, inform => Doi’ KNov Ross - Ve AX ME Vou IT RAIA AN’ | ToL fs Pye Nh PURS V WouldAt, us wat pip rou Meal |G? By GLING War Enauist ca WA -HATLICEE Boos | LaF D would RAW AND LUTE B038 IT Would Not Raw 77 them that since they were born on the cusp of Sagittarius and Scorpio their lucky color is a greenish maroon and that the opposite sex is strongly drawn toward them. One of the perennial features of Coney is the freak side show. The star freaks are our old friends, the sword-swallower, the fat woman, the Indian head-hunter, the missing link, and the mind reader. ‘The sword-swallower is an imposing looking gent plastered with more medals than Heinz’s Chow-Chow and surrounded by a fierce array of sabers, broadswords, scimitars, cutlasses, rapiers, bilbos, dirks, daggers, claymores, poniards and bowie knives. It 1s now going on thirty-nine years that I have hung around the platforms of these sword-swallowers and waited patiently to see one of them swallow a sword, but the best that I can report up to date is that I once—twenty-three years ago—saw one of them stick about five inches of a table knife down his throat. Which, after all, isn’t any more than the average cloak and suit drummer does with the utmost ease three times a day. I have similarly waited for years to see an Indian head-hunter do something, (Continued on page 30) comicbooks.com