Judge, 1925-07-18 · page 26 of 37
Judge — July 18, 1925 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents a comedic reimagining of Plato's *Crito*, the classical dialogue where Socrates refuses to escape his death sentence. The satire modernizes the ancient scene with contemporary slang and concerns. **The Main Cartoon:** Socrates, condemned to death, worries about supporting his family. Crito urges escape, offering help from friends in the "crate business" in Crete—a pun on their criminal enterprise. Socrates refuses, claiming his "inhibitions won't allow it," then absurdly suggests he'll stay imprisoned to fool his friends and possibly become a "revenue officer" (tax collector)—presented as a desirable career. **The Satire:** Judge mocks both classical pretension and contemporary bureaucratic ambitions. By giving Socrates mundane modern concerns (supporting a family, hoping for government employment) and having him refuse escape through stubborn principle while fantasizing about cushy positions, the piece ridicules both ancient philosophy and modern careerists. The lower cartoon, "Krazy Kracks," is unrelated advertising humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
make Thrace in thrice days. Buck up, old man, don’t look so Helle- spondent. Socrates—But, Crito, what will become of my little ones, Dardanella, seven, and Asperides, just turned nine? And there is Xantippe. She has been a good wife, Crito; a bit acrid at times, but, by Jove, she is still my wife. Crito—Forget it, Sock; the rest of the gang just cleaned up in a deal last night with a fellow who is in the crate business over in Crete, and they all said they'd chip in to keep the missus going until you got going again. Socrates—Ah, Crito, would that I could adopt your suggestions! But the truth is my inhibitions won't allow it. You see, they knew they did wrong to place me in this foul dungeon. But they thought for- sooth that I would escape while they are all away in Wimbledon attend- ing the Olympics. But I will fool them by remaining here. Mayhap, they will make me a revenue officer when they see that I am still here. And, by Zeus, that is a lucrative portfolio. Crito—Well, Sock, I'll say you are a reg'lar guy anyway. Well, so long. See you to-morrow, maybe. C. S. McIver KRAZY RACKS : ——— “give a sentence with the word (3 Fmst Tramp—Yer was a talkin’ in yer sleep, Bob; “ollerin’ fer Florida” : water, yer was. “He fell and Seconp Tramp—Water? Good ’eavens! Yer didn’t give me none, landed kag the 3 rida kitchen. did yer? —Tue Tatler History Up to Date Piato’s Dravoaues 1. Crito (Scene: The Jail at Athens. Crito Is Urging Socrates, Who Has Been Sentenced to Death, to Es- cape or Something) RITO—Hello, old man, howsa old Sock? Socrates—Deah, deah, if things haven't reached a dreadful state. Here, Crito, all I get to drink is that hellish hemlock. Here, try it. (Crito drinks). Crito—Ugh! Worse than vodka. Yea, even worse than that Macedo- nian White Mule that these here now Sophists are bringing in. But, let's get down to business. I've got the Neapolitan Six outside, and we can business as a goin’ concern. Wot's the grumble—it's gone, ain’t it? 2 comicbooks.com