Judge — March 28, 1925 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘The government of Hamandeggia repli Ve regret that one of our mailing clerks in the ultimatum department made this mistake. But we are confident you will understand how, with so many ultimatums being at this time of the year, one gets into the wrong good authority 1 correspondent for f tit is froma an American newspaper, got uncommon for on to write to another as follows: } “Gent n: On the twenty-third of last month we sent you an ultima- tum. Our filing secre | “COURTESIES OF THE CROSSING” to his home by illness a Hl Exaixeen or Tratx—aAfter you, my dear sir. find our carbon copy. Will” you iy | Mortoust—Thanks, arfully, but Pm in no great hurry—I insist that you — Please inform us by return mail just { | first. what we demanded in that last ulti- | | | ° mat in order that we my kat an j what we are arguing about before \j The Ultimatum Craze Onlering our fleet. te fire. on sour i | Te recent exchange of ultimatums. capital? | between the opposing factions } in the misunderstanding in China is t conclusive proof that the world’s visible supply of ultimatums is | greater than at any time in history. Should this ultimatum writing habit ever spread to include the United States, it will not be unusual to see advertisements like this in our magazines and newspapers: In recent years the popularity of the “Have You Imagination?” “Do You Want to Get Out of a Rut?” ultimatum has increased to ich pro- portions that professional ultimatum writers are employed by the majority “Foreign governments are erying for new ultimatums. ‘The govern. ment of Bazunkia will give 00 cash and royalties for an ultimatum featuring Gaston Garlic, its popular premier! of foreign governments. » reduce the cost of writing | | | | | ultimatums, however, some of the smaller foreign governments have adopted a plan similar to that © ployed by Americans in the saving of Christmas and New Year's cards that have not been written upon by | the senders. When one of these al | small and not too prosperous govern- } ments receives an ultimatum, the | t velope is thrown away and. the } ultimatum kept. ‘Then, when it is necessary to send an ultimatum, the Md government takes one of the , ones out of the box marked “U 4 matums Receiver and mails it out. / 4 | This unique method, however, | 1 * re-addresses it i sometimes causes — embarrassing moments. Recently the government of Bazoobia sent the following mes- sage to the government of Ham- andeggia: “We are returning the ultimatum you sent us yesterday. There must be some mistake. This is the same ultimatum we mailed you three Strupent or Human Nature—Pardon me, Miss, but why do you read a newspaper on the street when there's so much of interest transpiring all around you? months ago.” Stexoc—That's all right. But there ain't no divorces going on in the street. | comicbooks.com