Judge, 1925-03-28 · page 23 of 36
Judge — March 28, 1925 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary typical of Judge magazine's early 20th-century style. **Main Content:** The "Ultimatum School" advertisement parodies correspondence courses that promised quick wealth. It mocks the idea that ordinary Americans (a plumber's helper, a farmer's wife) could write diplomatic ultimatums and sell them to foreign governments—a joke about American diplomatic overconfidence and the proliferation of get-rich-quick schemes. **"Pearl" Poem:** A romantic comedy about a suitor frustrated by an overbearing, moralistic mother-in-law who guards her daughter jealously. The pun "mother-of-pearl" concludes the complaint. **Finland Cartoon:** The illustration depicts chaotic scenes labeled "Finland," likely satirizing Finnish athletes (Nurmi, Ritola, Kohlemainen were famous Finnish distance runners of the era). The exaggerated cartoon style suggests Judge was joking about Finland's athletic dominance or national character. **"Judge Remarks":** A standard feature offering humorous observations from public figures, typically contradicting their statements with ironic counterpoints—here about marriage, drunkenness, theater quality, and immigration policy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
other ge rraments are begging us for new ideas. You can learn to write ultimatums in your time at home by our simple method, “Perey Pipe, a plumber's helper, of Monkey Wrench, Mich., mi c 490 in two months writin, three of the world’s best ultimatums after our mail correspondence course! “Tillie Blatz, wife of a Nebraska farmer, sold her first ultimatum: to the Kingdom of Gazooma for $10,000! “Experience unnecessary, No knowledge of foreign questions re- quired, Fill out the attached ques- tionnaire and mail it tous now! We will tell vou honestly if you are alse desti to take your place the — world’s mong atest ultimatum Ultimatum School, Desk G34. Mud Chet Johnson Pearl pa“: is a girl who's a jewel most re, She's a vision that’s lovely to see, But when call to see her, her mother is there And makes it unpleasant for me. She comes to the door at my touch of the bell, And scoffs at each saying of mine. She's morally certain, it's easy to tell, Her « swine, thter’s a Pearl before She watches cach move like a cat watching mice, So T can't get a word with the rl. Yes, Pearl is a treasure, a gem of great price, But Tdon't like that mother-of pearl. Dave H. Morehead. FINLAND (Aa we imagine it after reading the stories of Nurmi, Ritola and Kohlemainen.) JUDGE /| REMARKS Mes. Tiyis Sawren Winstow “Married persons deserve a furlough from mvarria Many of them are absent without leave, right none, Macistrate Louis J. Reyxons “You can’t get drunk in the work We thought the workhouse was full of bars! Joun S. Suwver—"The New York stage to-day, as a whe worse than it has ever been in its history.” We think most of the musical come: dies are in pretty good shape! Usirep Spares Coast Gear Orricen—"No | liquor have been hended recently.” Well. they call it liquor, but techui- cally he's right. * quantities of News States carries than all the rest United life insurance f the world com Disearou—"The re at man that was in to sce us last week: gets around pretty fast. Usireo Strares Cowwissionric Rosrer S. Wieknau—"Only the \inericans drink to excess in Ber- and Tam heartily mu ashamed of them, In this country Americans will drink to anybody or anything! “We to deport Reeresextative Coorrie dea bill a we » boot x but we rounder the dome of the Capite This, no doubt, accounts for the spirit which prompts so many extra nus of Congress comicbooks.com