Judge — December 13, 1924 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ASK DAD—HE KNOWS What They Laughed at in the Good Old Days The Best Way ‘ustomer (angrily)—Waiter, what do you expect me to open these eggs with? Waiter—Better open ‘em with a prayer, boss. —Judge, 1901 sae She—Papa says you couldn’t sup- port me in style He—Well, he would have to make allowances for that. —Judge, 1903 The Difference “T want to see the proprietor. Is the gentleman in?” “Yes, I'm in.” “Are you the proprietor?” “No, I’m the gentleman. The proprietor is in the back room.” —Judge, 1903 Quickly Settled “T think I’ve earned a kiss,” he said. The lights burned low, the hour was late. She w! ered with averted head, “Tis not worth while to arbitrate.” —dJudge, 1902 Te oeivent S T. S. Sullivant in Judge, 1900. “Phot's good t’ get rid av th’ rats, Mrs. Rooney?” “Well, bromide is good, but lettin’ th’ ould licker alone is betther, Mrs. Casey.” | Art Young in Judge, 1903. HOW AN AUTOMOBILE BREAKDOWN SERVED AS A TEMPERANCE LESSON Farmer Jaccers (telling about it after his recovery a month later)—I seen the darn spider animal right afore me, snortin’ an’ quiverin’ like it wuz achin’ fer ter grab suthin’ an’ make a meal offin it. I figgered the thing out an’ calc'lated I better go round by the other road. I hain’t had no taste fer licker since. BETTER YET comicbooks.com