Judge — December 13, 1924 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-— Confession of a Golf Millionaire Taere is simply nothing like own- ing your own private links. Before I invested in mine and got it properly laid out and going, I found it was impossible to play at the country club with any comfort. There was no telling how long I would have to wait to drive off. But much worse than this, I never knew what bore I was going to play with, as I was constantly dragged into twosomes, foursomes, even threesomes with anyone who came along and grabbed me to fill out with. And at any time it might be a woman. All this delay and discomfort have been avoided now, thanks to my private links. It’s expensive but worth it. I keep it filled up with the dubs that formerly bothered me, and play myself at the country club. Thomas. L. Masson see Although heaven is a beautiful place as described by the ministers they usually seem anxious to pay the doctor to keep them from going. sae The popular foreign slogan: See America first—when looking for a loan. Why get up at all? ~ \Funnybones A lot of chorus girls are living on the fat-headed of the land Young Hopeful—Dad, what is a Welsh rarebit? Old Hopeless—It’s something to be eaten; only it can’t when it should, and it shouldn’t when it can. She Never Got Across Girl—Pa, what is the Bridge ighs? Dad (an auction fiend)—Playing with your mother for a partner, Estrangement I I sust need a nine bamboo For my fourth set of three, The end reveals the other two Reclining restfully Upon your rack. You always cling (I wonder how you know) Adhesively to anything I want; won't let it go; And, if a season you obtain, A fancy floral Sign, My doubling hope is rendered vain— You lay down both of mine; Or if I try to gather twins, Well, six pairs is the best Lever pull. The East wind wins— And you discard the West! I pant to pung, I choose to chow, How gladly I would gongg! But what's the use? With you, somehow, My wits and wiles go wrong. We have been friends for years a score, Alas, it should betide That, if we play Mah Jongg much more, I'll be a friendicide! John McColl | a comicbooks.com