Judge — December 13, 1924 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

right in a better light. Helen Mari HE average voter's idea of how the Congressional Record will report the sessions of the Senate when General Dawes is Vice-President. Mr. Dawes—Come to order, you birds! What's first business, Mister Clerk? Clerk—The roll call. Mr. Dawes—T’hell with that. What’s next? C’m on, make it snappy, son! Clerk—We have a communication from the House . . . Mr. Dawes—What t’hell do those bozos want? Clerkk—The League of Nations. . . Mr. Dawes—Chuck it in the waste- basket. My pipe’s out .. . who's gotta match? ... Thanks. Any im- portant business to come w Senator Moses—Mr. President . . . Mr. Dawes—'Lo, Moses. Senator Moses—Mr. President, I have a matter... Mr. Dawes—Shoot! Senator Moses—Just 300 years ago to-day, Mr. President . . . Mr. Dawes—T'bell with ancient history, Mose. Anything interest- ing to say? Siddown! in Action Senator Johnson—Mr. _ Presi- dent... Mr. Dawes—'Lo, Hiram. Gotta match? ... Thanks.... Damn’ pipe won’t burn. Senator Johnson—Mr. President, out West in the great paradise call California, that I have the honor. . . EE SS At first glance, Mandy looked a little strange, but—she looked all Mr. Dawes—Don’t try to sell any real estate now, Hiram. Senator Johnson—Certainly not. But out in California . . . Mr. Dawes—Listen, Hi; fellow was telling me to-day you've got a Jap cook at your house. ’S that right? Senator Johnson—It is not! That is a scurrilous, dastardly rumor . . . Mr. Dawes—Sit down, Hi! Senator Johnson—But, Mr. Presi- dent, Ihaven’t . . . “White man not so smart. before he put up heap wires?” Mr. Dawes—T’hell you haven't! Sit down and shut up! Who's next? Senator Johnson of Minnesota— Mr. President, the farmers of . . . Senator Capper—Yes, Mr. Presi- dent, the farmers. . . Mr. Dawes—Who t’hell called on you, Art? Senator Capper—If the gentleman from Minnesota will yield. Mr. Dawes—Don't you do it, Magnus. It’s your turn. Shoot! Senator Johnson—The farmers . . . Senator Capper—Something . . . Mr. Dawes—Who thell is run- ning this plz Gimme a match, Magnus. . Thanks. . . . Damn this pips . - Now she’s work- ing. Arthur, you pipe down and stay piped. Get me? Senator Joknson—The farmers, Mr. President . . . Mr. Dawes—Time’s up, Magnus. Sorry. Ne Senator Johnson—. . . to continue for three more minutes . . Mr. Dawes—Nothing doing. And don’t look hard-boiled about it, either. When I give an order I don’t want to argue about it! I'm here to see that this gang acts in a manner fitting the dignity of the United States Senate and I’m going to see that it does, if I have to lick every damn’ one of you single- handed! Hey, gimme a match, some- body! Chet Johnson If smart, why he no invent wireless first, comicbooks.com