Judge — November 24, 1923 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

She Found A Pleasant Way To Reduce Her Fat She did not have to go to the trouble of diet or exercise. She found a better way, which aids the digestive organs to turn food into muscle, bone and sinew instead of fat. She used Marmola Prescription Tablets, which are made from_the famous Marmola prescription. They aid the digestive system to obtain the full nutriment of food. They will allow you toeat many kinds of food without the necessity of dieting or exercising. Thousands have found that the Marmola Prescription Tablets give complete relief from obesity. And when the accumulation of fat is checked, reduction to normal, healthy weight soon follows. All good drug stores the world over sell Marmola Prescription Tablets at one dollar a box. Ask your druggist for them, or order direct ‘and they will be sent in plain wrapper, postpaid. MARMOLA COMPANY 284 Garfield Bldg., Detroit, Mich. 73, AGARS. “MADE AT KEY WEST— HISTORY the WORLD AT A BARGAIN Will name our 8 Price and e ot eautiful sai readers Interested who mall the coupon be low: the coupes, write Haine and address piaiaiy and matt 6000 Years of HIStory: bay thip famous HIS. TSHR ow Wave aye seated. Ro need commonplace when Yop can e‘ome ar uninted th tne Hlesand wregt of every sue.” and the ves of Socrts Flecontras' Napoisss,” siwetl Wsabings in bela an he ry of a ows FREE COUPON ADDRESS, ast NicHT I listened to a gent who | drearily did rant; to hear that lecturer I went, to please my wife and aunt. They alw fall for every show of the uplifting sort, and as their escort I must go, and hear some tiresome sport. The hall was hot, no breezes shot across our wasted cheeks, the halls are always much too hot in which a tinhorn speaks. And if they are not hot they're cold; they never are just right; we suffer agonies untold who sit there half the night. The seats were made, with fell design, to ruin human backs; as evidence I show my spine, which once was smooth as wax. The speaker had a beastly cold, he also had a cough; I’ve never seen, though I am old, so wearisome a toff. The hall was full of dames and gents who awned until they wept, while through his musty arguments the locoed speaker swept. At home these people might have sat, in padded easy-chairs, with cushions opulent and fat, and books to shoo their cares; and in these books they might have read the knowledge they desired, all that the wheezy speaker said—and quit when they were tired. With good old slippers |on their feet, and Volstead steins at hand, they might have passed an evening sweet, informative and grand. But no, they leave their vine and door, and to a hall repair, and pay good coin to hear a bore who drools absurdly there And every time they make this break they're sure to say, “Dod-gast! This lecture graft is a mistake—that ordeal is the last!” Another lecturer arrives in seven weeks or four, and they round up | their aunts and wives and stand the gaff once more. I° To concerts now and then, with other village hicks, although I’ know that once again I’m buying gilded bric There always is a singer vile whose voice would saw a nail; perhaps a woman with ja smile, perhaps a beefy male. And when the woman sings, I sigh, “Thank |God she’ll soon be done; she'll have to QUEER WEAKNESSES by Walt Mason quit it by and by, so I won’t use my gun.” I see men shudder as she shrie some are moved to tears; but when s through some dippy freaks send up a round of cheers! They clap their cal- loused hands like sin, they stamp upon the floor, and that fat female, with a grin, comes back to sing some more. Ob, why do people do these things? Why do they throw a fit? When some fierce singer fiercel, why don’t they let her quit’ a faker comes to town and stands upon a keg, and talks until the sun goes down, and pulls the hamlet’s s a foolish ribald talk sells the Pills that Knock; they’re made of buzzards’ nests; or the are made of wood in some sequestered mill; at all events, they are no good, and never cured an ill. But all the voters gather round till there’s no room to spare, and buy his pellets by the pound, while local druggists swear. Why do we play such silly tricks, and why such boners pull? do the wits of village hicks forever gather wool? Rnd Inspiration by W. K. Ziegfeld, ‘SPIRE me, the poet cries, Oh, make my rhyming neater. Just send an inspiration, T'll hop right up and greet her. Send love to me, for it will help, To make my verses sweeter. For when a woman comes along, A man must run to meter! Rad “Well,” said the householder as he tooked at the ton of coal in the cellar. “That coal dealer is not only a highway robber, but he’s also a low-weigh robber.” tae Mrs.—I don’t think much of that new doctor you've been seeing. {r.—How’s that? “He doesn’t seem to know much. He hasn't even ordered you to quit smoking, drinking or coming home late.” comicbooks.com