Judge — November 17, 1923 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR INQUIRING REPOR PER Every week he asks some darn fool question He determines to find out if four out of five people suffer from Pyorrhea. EDDIE GUMMIT Forhan Ave. “I ain’t got no teeth!” BILL BLACKAYE Kolynos St. “No, the wife did that.” K x ey ¥ \ IVOR IRONECK Vaudeville Per- former. “No answer.” GEORGE SWOLLENCHOP Pebeco Ave. “Go to h—Il!” IF INTERESTED IN BUSINESS AND FINANCE, keep informed by reading the Bache Review, » ten minute weekly summary of the business and financial situation. It focuses and interprets currents of to-day and indicates their trend. to business men for three months, without J. S. BACHE & CO. 42 Broadway New York City lose- i gS oie XG The Fifty Million Dollar Account (Continued from page 12. However, that can be Meador, what plans have slogan contest. decided later. you?” Meador tossed his fair hair back and rose gracefully. “T think Been’s idea is a good one, Mr. Bunk, but in its present state too arti- ficial. Why limit our market to girls? I suggest the picture be a good looking fellow and girl seated on a lounge reading the Bible with the slogan, ‘Good com- pany!” Mr. Bunk turned to his secretary. “Take that down, Miss Jones. Brown, what’s your reaction?” Mr. Brown cleared his throat and placed the tips of his fingers on the table. “In my experience with the Blowhout Tire and the Enemic Six I found that a close-up of the object commanded atten- tion immediately! I do not believe in divided vision as Been has pictured the Bible with a girl holding it. The layman sees the girl first, and he should see the Bible first! I would sug- gest a table with the Bible resting upon it, with may- be an ash- an} tray or a pair of gloves ly- ing close by. Iwould suggest for the slogan ‘Best in the long run’ or “Just a real good book.’” - A little glimpse of r. Bunk leaned back in his chair nd gazed intently at the ceiling. Jones, take that down also. Jen- kins, what is your plan? You've handled most of our book accounts.” Jenkins, a snappily dressed young man, rose to his feet, and addressed the group. “There’s only one way to put a boc across nowadays, Mr. Bunk, and that is to have it suppressed, but of course that’s impossible in this case as it’s already been out too long. I would suggest running a cut of one of the illustrations, with the slogan, ‘You won’t go to bed till you’ve read it? It might be possible also to get one of the newspaper columnists to review it and knock it. Another way would be to have the Cosmopolitan run it in serial form with illustrations by Flagg, and eventually get it in the movies!” As Jenkins finished, the door opened and a boy stuck his head in the door. “Mr. Bunk, that man that was here this morning is here again.” Mr. Bunk beamed. 26 Don’t forget to read the ads!) “Tell him to come right in, Tommy. Gentlemen, our billionaire philanthropis is here! He shall join our conference Mr. Bunk turned to greet the tall thin looking man who stood in the doorway. “Mr.—er—Smith, your call is most oppor- tune! Allow me to present my fellow- We are right now in the middle ission concerning your account, are only too glad to have you join us! As Mr. Bunk passed the cigars, two figures in uniform appeared in the door, and walking to the table placed their hands on the billionaire’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt you, gentlemen, but this guy has been missin’ for two days an’ we trailed him here!” Mr. Bunk jumped to his feet. “What’s the meaning of this y, this guy’s crazy! He escaped from the State asylum two days ago!” Mr. Bunk collapsed in his “Y-you mean to t-tell me that man’s been Z for years—used t bea well- known adver- tisin’ man!” Rd “And what do you think of our United States?” in- quired the American, the Engl visitorwasl ing our shores. **Nothing but _ billboards and board bills!” snapped theEnglishman. the Stacomb family. Was it, or was it not, Helen of Troy who s “Beware the Ides of March”? tae The editor of the magazine shook his head sadly as he gazed at the back of the November issue, and murmured, “The great open spaces!” tot Demosthenes walked slowly up the beach, a pleased smile on his face. “A mouthful of these cough drops has cer- tainly got it all over ordinary pebbles!” THROW YOUR VOICE Under the table, into a ‘Trunk, down Cellar or anywhere. Our lessons # in” VENTBILOQUISM teaches you. With our’ VENTRILO (Gtsin the mouth and cannot be seen imitate ‘Birds, dak mals, etc. without moving your lips. ‘This outfit and book of JOKES by mail for 100. UNIVERSAL DIST. Oa! Box 106 Stamford, Ct."