Judge — September 22, 1923 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Beginner—I must see an oculist. I start to drive into the garage the front of the car seems to expand. however, will prove of little avail if the driver places smooth, worn tires on his front wheels and new non-skid ties on the rear, for under these conditions the front wheels will be permitted to. slide with less braking effect required than would the rear wheels. It therefore becomes important that the same type of tires be used on all four wheels of a car provided with front wheel brakes. It is also exceedingly important that the four-wheel brakes be frequently inspected and adjusted. Grease leakage from any of the wheels on to a brake drum may cause an unequal application of the brake lining, while sand on one side or the other may produce unequal wear. When four-wheel brakes are properly adjusted they represent what is probably one of the greatest advances in motor car development of the past few years, but when allowed to remain out of adjustment they may constitute an absolute menace to the driver and occupants of the car so neglected. ott Who Wins and Wears the Brown Derby by Joe Osier Yr know, every time I hear of the plumbers in Peoria, the carpenters in Chicago or the plasterers in Paducah— Demanding increases in wages ranging from a dollar an hour to ten smacks a day— I feel like grabbing myself by scruff of the neck and kicking me the next precinet because— Had I listened to my Dad, when I was young and gandering—I would be rich as dirt now, and— Would be riding in an automobile, the into as with shift and rubber tires, instead of cuffing the cob- blestones with a heavy houn’. Dad, you wanted me to be a some- body—a_ rough carpenter, a plumber's assistant aide-d or something along line, but I— Headstrong pulsive and Ta Insisted that I write poetry and smart cracks and such and wear a white collar, and, to-day— Like most white-collared hombres— Tam but a few jumps ahead of the | sheriff and his strong-armed deputies. And, in the meantime, the boys who went to school with me and graduated into the ranks of time heaters—class of naughty nine— Are smoking cigars made of tobaci and passing the time— Slapping their valets around. and im- Every time | understand, | would »-stealers and whistle. | I know I shouldn't grumble and com- | “Mercy, child! You must be getting the measles! You are all covered with, goose pimples!” natal plain. I had my chance. I, too, could have been a bricklayer or a plasterer and | become round-shouldered— Carrying big bundles of boodle—but I was ambitious and was building for the future, and all that rot, and, to-day, Because I was so inclined, Lam writing smart cracks which I, alone, think are smart and am— Ringing “‘no sale” on my cash register. sot “If Coolidge handles the coal as well as he did the Boston police. . I'd like him to take a shot at my mother- in-law.” strike | Made to sell for $11. Now offered 3 an intro. duction to the Chis Criumph of Art and Utility will be sent you on Approval Decorative Arts League r only Greek Pompeiian ‘Design Part of the Famous Muller Popoff Group Smoker's Stand to be the beavtiful and useful and. the best value you haveeverfound, it_will be taken b: without question. to the famous Greek Pompeiian floor lamp which has won unparalleled A rare combination o great beauty, sturdi- ness and solid smok- iz comfort You should most suceess. "to top of candle hold- Finish « green brown statuary The candle holder cov- ous well in The holder ear off for ease in lighting your smoke. Convenient pipe racks with mateh box holder, ample ash tray and four long rests for lighted cigars. Well balanced compact Fifth Avenue Suite 602 New York Send no money. Not forwarded on (ame approval _ outside U. DECORATIVE. AT G 505 Fite money in full Name Address INVENTORS our guide book, “HOW TOG Bend model or sketch give our opinion of ite ps RANDOLPH & CO., 78: Who desire to secure r Y% Price Sale PLatiS 2 a fini, very latent atyleand shape ‘Silk Kibbon Hracolet #15, NON ‘ONLY $7,481 TEN (10) JEWELS Gorgeously. ENGRAVED! ch O5 Wi ‘cHicaco Dept. 226, 17 W. Wasninnron st. comicbooks.com