Judge — September 1, 1923 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Seven Stages by P. Ramsbottom i, the course’s a world; And all the players merely men and women: They have their epics and their platitudes; And one man in his time pk many s acts being “I” and “They.” At first th’ Adonis; Who hears with all but smiles the pro’s alarms. Then the Sir Oracle; with his elk hide i And glistering armoury, strutting like Mars To wage his swing. And then the hobbledehoy; Digging like grave maker, with bleaching divot To mark his every lunge. ‘Then a player; Full of strange oaths and plumed like a ward, Jealous of tre: sudden and quick with caddies, Building a bubble reputa- tion Mainly with his mouth. And then the expert; With slow come-back, eye glazed unto th Sarazen of grip, right leg of steel, left hinged, Pivot half-moon, swing rhythmical and bold; Aswish—'tis there, a blub tis not, ’tis gone; And so he golfs his golf. And then the golfer: With rust of weeks and mold of fields upon His arms and scenery; cad- dies and pals Bunch round; the match is made; cigars and drinks And caddies’ fees and gum, the gage; “Go through,” he laughs— he has forgotten “Fore”; And thus he plays his golf. Last scene of all That ends this strange eventful history Is almost godliness; and immortality Chez boys, chez girls, chez friends, chez everybody. rr ee ee ee I ama man, more knocked against than knocking.—Every Man. tse Stymie by Carlyle F. Straub IONVERSATION is vexation; Looking up is bad; A top from the tee Perplexes me, And a stymie drives me mad. POLY AT THE Scooty Blear by CW. ME players are sticklers for th’ rooles 0” gawf—especially when it’s. th’ ither fallow wha is affected. I hae always haed a soospicion that gude caddies are never ony mair enthu- siastic than gude gawfers aboot gaun aroun’ wi’ duffers. * «* * Mony colleges willna recognize gawf igth HOLE haggy wilderness. Ika time I play a roun’ here I lose three or four ba’s.” “Weel, weel, my laddie, ye hae little tac complain aboot,” replied th’ charter member. “Losin’ anly a few gawf ba’s on this coorse isna bad for a beginner. When we started playin’ gawf here wi haed a de’il 0° a time o’ it. We id put cor bags doun tac look for oor ba’s, then when we got tired huntin’ for "em we haed tae start a’ ower again an’ look for oor bags.” eed Ballades of a Dub Max Marston. a major sport. Possibly 1 too mony students wad elect’ tae major in th’ royal an’ ancient game. + * * they're In th’ auld days few men wad gi’e a care aboot th’ weather durin’ th’ week- ends. Noo a million or mair o’ begin tae worry on Monda kind 0’ weather there'll be on Saturdays an’ Sunday * * * A new member haed lost some ba’s in th’ rough an’ was complainin’ tae an auld gawfer aboot it. “This is a joke o’ a gawf coorse, I tell ye,” he said. “Th’ fairways are a’ rough an’ fu’ o” holes an’ th’ rough is a 14 Golf Gives Her Freckles on Her Nose by A. N. C. Fouter /[Avve used to be a most M devout Admirer of the greens and tees, But now she'll shake her head and pout At any reference to these Or mention of golf's de- votees— The cause of which dislike arose From curious antipathies: Golf gives her freckles on her nose. I hoped Maude wouldn't cut it out For I could beat that doll with ease— The only one, without “a doubt, O’er whom I won my vic- tories; Now I'm the solitary cheese Who’s trimmed by all—and so it g Since Maude made her dis- co St Golf gives her free her nose. T'd gladly chase the shops about To buy her anything that frees All freckles from the human snout— Creams, powders, veils to keep the breeze From her frail beak’s deficienci If only she'd a mind disclose ‘To overlook her idio Golf gives her freckles on her nose. DEnvoi The female mind has got more bees Than any blooming rose that grows: Maude’s quit golf cold since, if you please, Golf gives her freckles on her nose! tae “What makes you New Yorkers so sophisticated?” “Out-of-town callers.” comicbooks.com A | of th ‘SI Mrs. of we to it. heim made “| the ten-l mon with mon! I jum did, hav tos Mr: Bur aga