Judge, 1923-08-25 · page 16 of 36
Judge — August 25, 1923 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical vignettes typical of early-20th-century American humor: **Top story**: "Cap" Crowley, a businessman with arithmetic skills but no sentimentality, refuses to help his emotionally devastated son recover from financial loss—even when a physician suggests placing money where the son might find it. Cap's refusal ("He mought as well be crazy as me") satirizes miserly fathers and the era's tension between fiscal responsibility and emotional support. **Rowboat rental dialogue**: Mocks overly complicated pricing schemes—"wholesale" versus "retail" rates for boat rentals—poking fun at small-business owners who overcomplicate simple transactions. **Tom Gullins anecdote**: Ironically praises a "shiftless" man who somehow left his widow substantial property, suggesting either hidden virtue or luck rewarding the undeserving. **School excuse**: A boy's deliberately bad handwriting in a tardiness note satirizes poorly educated parents trying to write formal documents. **Final joke**: A confused child asks for bananas but gets dill pickles instead—a play on miscommunication or the storekeeper's poor hearing.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
oO” “Car” Crow- dollars in some way. A physician was while not called to treat the young man, but all espec strong in treatment failed. He continued to hi arithmetic, in business, moan the loss of his money. Finally however, has cut his the doctor told the old gentlema a knows last resort to place five hundred dollars where the son could find it. He belie it possible that his mind we * said a sum- stored. The old man said: mer ler, ‘Show Tl be durned if 1 do. He mought as much will you charge well be crazy as me" to rent me a rowboat?” “How Jong do you days; perhaps ri tell now of hullsale and retail. One's for a week or more, and the other's for a week or less. If you take it for a weck or more, that'll cost you at the » of fifty cents a day, three dollars and a a week. But for less than a week, 1 don’t feel if L ought to charge so A new radio hook-up. high. It gives folks a Perl chance to rent boats when you don’t have I ™ them out so long. . ay pics my family is so hopelessly old-fash- for less than a week, ione magine, if you can, a girl of nineteen charge at the rate of 1 le cl f il ! e made choice of an excellent wife,” seithout /her"own aparteacnet three dollars a week, said Mr. Spinks, thoughtfully, “and and for five days—well, \hat's more, she made something of a at's . ade something « He had been tardy at school, and that won't cost you more than a dollar jim, Why, sir, when he married her, this was the excuse he handed in: and seventy-five cents. all he Nad fee w thattress a old makeshift stuffed with excelsior; and stincy old man had a son whose when he died he had no less than thre: mind became affected, and possessed mattresses — stuffed with — li with an idea that he had lost five hundred feathers. He had feathered his nest.” REMEMBER Tom Gullins as a shiftless young ne'er-do-well, but I he left his widow quite a. substantial property. How did he manage i miss Mackentire pleas Exkuse henry for = Being late he was Kep out on the acct. of Sikness in the Fambly yours Respect Jess Rogers. “Henry,” said the teacher, after she had read it, “I have serious doubts about the genuineness of this. It looks very suspicious, “T know it, ma'am,” he replied, sniffing. “I told paw I could write it a heap = better'n he could, but he just would do (BY it.” Sonny — Hey, mister! Have you got anything in the shape of ba- nanas? “Hang it! I missed him! Storekeeper— My eyes ain't what they Yes, we have dill used to be. pickles! comicbooks.com “A