Judge — May 19, 1923 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by JoserH C. Nosite, Cornell ‘24. “No more bedecked like duke or fop, I shamed the Pilgrim dressers.” “Trresponsible, Joyous, Irrepressible” (With acknowledgments to Walt Mason, Mr. Edison, et al.) by Roy B. Miller, Cornell * Illustration by Joseph C. Nobile, Cornell’ HE daily sheet has gone to seed, its wonted kick is lacking, its editors are off their feed, its staff is bent and cracking.” Thus’ soared my righteous wrath the while I reasoned with my postum. Those dumb reporters vexed my bile until I fain would roast ‘em. “They champ their beards because we studes are nutty and inhuman; we're just a bunch of rah-rah dudes, our brains half-boiled albumen. We shut our eyes and toss away the jack of sweating Poppers; our dizzy life is one hurray, with somersets and floppers.”” Thereat I lit a cigarette and drank a cup of cocoa. “I'll show that vile, un- taught gazette if lettered men are loco CANNED my hat of battered felt, my red cravat, my knickers, and fied the lodge where erst I dwelt carefree and full of snickers. No more bedecked like duke or fop, I shamed the Pilgrim dressers, those worthy swains who hied to shop less frequent than professors. Then h wending down the hill, I wir y of money: “Beshrew thy che bill. Send no more kale to Sonny lowly walks where duty called, in alleys dank and narrow, I soothed the lame deaf, the bald; yea, fed the hungry Vast multitudes gave willing e: though void of education. They follow me with hearty cheer and joyous demon- stration. The news alone reviled my deeds: “Queer Actions Cause Suspicion. Hill Man in Strange, Outlandish Weeds—His Dome in Bad Condition.” “RELIKE the stubborn press bell course a whit informal. Ods kins, it sorely grieves. Can nary be normal?” Full long I mused journals voice the verdict of Then lo! I'll preach my m from platform, stump, and steeple.” I hired a hall of ample space and pa it full of judges, sage men of long wrinkled face who harked with nods nudges. With earnest phrase, with flow tear, with gesture stern and frantic, I charmed the ready eye and ear of all those men pedantic. “Spank not the kid because he slams the door on Grandma's bustle, or soaks the teacher’s darling lambs with all his might and muscle. Far better let him make them wail—yea, quake from night till morrow—than beat him up with club es my pitti- stude “The or flail and him needless sorrow. Each mother’s son is born to tread the paths of higher learning, door knobs and ashes on his head, his features drawn with yearning. Aye, then his joys will sadly end in laughing-stock for journals; they'll say he fails to comprehend baked beans or peanut kernels.” id no more, for ample cause: those wise men waxed pathetic; ’mid showered tears they sobbed applause and rolled about, athletic. Alack, to be so misconstrued, so censured Drawn by WoxTHEN Brabey, U. of California. by the paper! The headlines ran, “Again The Stude Pulls Joyous Nutty Caper!” sae Oh, Sing a Song of Science by E. D. Buchanan, Cornell 23 Eocene, Miocene, Pilocene, tuff, Lias and trias, And that is enough. Oh, sing a song of phosphates, Fibrine in a line, Four and twenty follicles In the van of time. When the phosphorescence Evoluted brain, Superstition ended, Man began to reign. Famous Statements by Phil Newill, Stanford '24 NANIAS: Now you tell one. Al Cleopatra: Quick, Watson, the needle! Mephistophiles: It's not the heat, it’s the humidity. Ben Turpin: Methuselah Here's looking at you. A man is as old as he feels. Paul Revere Oh, what a night! Helen of Troy: So this is Paris. Jonah: The Marines have landed have the situation well in hand. and — Wradley— ANOTHER PROBLEM FOR A CONFERENCE How near can they get in the Near East?