Judge, 1923-05-05 · page 9 of 36
Judge — May 5, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This is a humor page from *Judge* magazine featuring golf-themed comedy. The main cartoon shows two golfers on a course—one standing (giving unsolicited health advice about sitting on damp ground), the other seated and apparently indifferent. The caption's punchline is that the seated golfer was already thinking about catching cold and dying, suggesting he's so discouraged by his poor golf performance that he welcomes illness. The page contains several golf-related poems and short jokes, including "Ballades of a Dub" (mocking a terrible golfer whose longest shots always go out of bounds) and "Th' Caddie's Last Prayer" (a Scottish dialect poem where a caddie prays for forgiveness from all the golfers he's worked for, each blaming him for their mistakes). The other jokes are unrelated—Adam and Eve banter, a non-stop dancer, and a bootlegged watch—typical filler content. The overall theme is early-season golf humor, common leisure-class entertainment for *Judge*'s affluent readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
th EARLY SEASON STUFF “I wouldn't sit on the damp ground, Joe. You might catch cold and get sick—” OY, REG om praia RR HOM cad pit nh a rary Peres maar Hi ib ue Al h ui eas) he Uy hin “1 Init iy A ie ay eg Vig ; i wa “fq vid oy jas wa Hint ie Ifo ‘i ijn! Wily te Nr Wl Alt ‘Nay fl on dis y f 1 Yh us eat con Cale ifs Sh fe hy pais ty, ng Gi oT oj wi i { SKY , eke ey Iv path bl cet ui a senshi y oie Vi ar, Drawn by Rene CLaune Ballades of a Dub by A. N.C. Fowler My Longest Shots Are Out of Bounds [ostes svat my Silver King And get a bail that is a whale, And as Pwateh the blooming thing \t my elub’s impact rise and seale ‘The distant skies then all words fail ‘To tell my pleasure that abounds Till in the rough I see it sail— My longest shots are out of bounds, When T address the ball I bring \ firm resolve that I shan’t quail In what there is to do but swing So surely [can’t help but nail The pill directly on the tail And drive it straight above the grounds, Unmoved by slice or hook or gale My longest shots are out of bounds. fy ay It’s tough to watch that pellet wing away upon a trail That ends amid the rocks and ling Or lose itself in some darned dale Where I must deive and scoop and flail In the rough. Twelve holes in par and then a “nine.” My way across the rising mounds With the results such swipes entail— My longest shots are out of bounds. L’Envoi My strokes are rarely in the kale, I try to hit ‘em right, but, zounds! fforts don’t prev est shots are out of bounds. ery Tl’ Caddie’s Last Prayer by CW. Myers Lorn, forgive Auld Mister Law, Wha blamed me when he topped his t Forgive, I pray, th’ young Willie Mutt; He cursed me when he missed his putt. Please shrive th’ soul o’ Sandy Lee; He dubbed his drive, blamed it oon me. An’, too, I plead for Johnny Frost; He fired me when his ba’ was lost. I say a prayer for Larry Greet; He thocht Edina see him cheat. » dina punish Sammy Tubb, id "twas I wha broke his club. An’ noo, as I must heed th’ ea’, O Lord, I pray, forgive “em a’. 7 .and die; yes, I was thinking of that.” Had Him There Adam (during the first spat)—Always keep in mind, lady, that you were made for me—not I for you. Get me? Eve—I got you all right, but T had no choice. se “There goes the girl who just broke the non- ty The non- stop dance champion?” é “Oh, IT wouldn’t go Over the 6 faras to say that— bunker. her record's over ten minutes old, now.” RR Mrs. Juke (exam g the timepiece)— If this here watch is solid gold, as ) say, L can't understand how you got it er only 75. Mr. Juke—Don't tell a soul, Emily, but the gold that that there watch is made of was bootlegged from the Canadian klondike! Phra Sunday School Teach- er—Who can tell me the name of the first man and the first woman? E Little Boy —Adam Rescued from and Evil. the pond. Seater ntl ses ene