Judge — May 5, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

by Edward Anthony The strings are shriveled, warped and busted. $$ HAT do you expect when you keep it in the attic, Georg “I didn’t put it there, Edith. You know I didn’t.” “You did!” And so on. for five or six minutes. But there really is no point in arguing the question, The fact remains that George’s racquet is on the sick list! The strings are shriveled, warped and bus‘ George, believing in the eternal fitness of things, is as unstrung as his racquet. For he had hoped to start the season with a few practice strokes. He always begins to tune up this tim of year. And you can’t get much of a tune out of an instrument whose strings are broken. George ruefully — surveys the wreck and tries to decide whether it would be cheaper to replace the G string— and the others that are twisted—or get a new instrument to play. Our suggestion to George is that he stagger through the season with the busted racquet. He never wins anyhow, and with a ruined racquet to point to he'll have a perfect alibi all summer. He'll find it convenient ble to say, after each drubbing. » if I only had a good racquet.” The only trouble with this system is that some might offer to lend him a good one. That would be George’s undoing. Signs of the Season Bu Titpen Wrxs; His Many Kus Leave Rivau Dazep anp Wan; Tue Cuampton’s Pray Provines REAL Turiis— The tennis season’s on! THE SPORT OF PREPARING FOR THE SEASON ee NE Way of getting rid of the “bottled- up emotion” that the psycho-analysts been telling us about is to chuck the emotion-containing bottle away. philosophy that the bottle-heaving He means no harm. get rid of the object that represents his The only thing to do is to It isn’t his fault if some one It is the fault of the It is true, as the 1 writers say, that bottles have it of “whistling by,” but the trouble He simply has to gets in the way. bottle manufacturers. Sketches by Weed is that these bottles haven't been taught to whistle loudly enough. The unwitting r, unable to hear ‘em, stands and gets beaned. let us take heart. Baseball is swaddling clothes, as the phras: s, and in years to come, when it is in the long-pants stage, bottles will be so made that their whistling can be plainly heard. Perhaps it is best that the game has not yet reached perfection. As it is with room for improvement, there is an ideal to strive for, as the gentleman said in addressing the Annual Convention and Clambake of the Tin Cornice Manu facturers’ Association. On to the fulfillment of bz II's ideal! Old “Pop” Bottle, father of many a limp on the head, must be taught good man ners; he must be taught to announc his coming. For all too often has he violated the sanctity of the dome. HE FUTURE will take care of itself. We must think of the present. “Bottled-up emotion” is a reality and the baseball fan has to turn to present- day equipment for the relief of his feel- ings. The softly whistling bottle is his medium of expression. And everyone, as the Freudians will tell you, has express himself—the base fan by expressing (charges prepaid) glassware over the air line route. In the winter he gets out of trim. That is why, in the springtime, he should practice botth heaving. He can’t afford to become a poor marksman. Ah, you interrupt at this point, didn’t you s rlier that the fan doesn’t aim at the ball player? Er—well—y that is—some of them don’t. But base- is the time when the sport writers sharpen a dozen pencils.