Judge — May 5, 1923 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ball crowds are large and—er—include some fans with atavistic tendencies. \fter all, if you believe in the theory of evolution, bottle-throwing shouldn't sur- prise you. It is merely a survival of the nut-throwing of our pithecanthropic cestors. As we were saying, the emotional fan must keep in practice. A convenient way of doing this is to toss bottles at the ine choral society in the backyard. The thing to do is to pick out the worst offender and see if you can hit him with a milk bottle. This accomplished, aim at him with one of the baby’s nursing bottles. These are approximately the size of soda bottles and if you can bounce one off the cat's pajamas (cats do their singing at night and therefore wear ’em) you needn't worry about hitting anyone you aim at from the grandstand or bleach- ers this summer. Let the guy you hit worry, Tliere is noth- ing like having an aim in life, as Eddie Guest will tell you; and the gl ‘are-tosser, para- phrasing this, will tell you there is nothing like having good aim. More Signs of the Season Bane Rutn Socks Homer Ovr or Park, Batt Lanps in NEARBY Lone Drive Wixs Game THAT Lasts Tint Dark; Fans DEMONSTRATION Make. “Not Ciamminc PENNANT BUT We'tt Bear WatcHinG,” Says 's Leaver. (The leader of each team that there Is in cach league, dear reader.) Star Howps Our For AppitionaL Ow Oh, when you read the: all’s under way Standing in line isn’t as easy as it looks. N ow is the time when the sport writer JN Sharpens a dozen pencils or puts a new ribbon in the typewriter and pre- pares to coin new phrases. why should golf, let us say, be referred to so often as the link pastime? Why not something new? ... Ha! He has it— the ancient Scotch game! He also writes, by way of novelty, of the sport of kings, the racquet wielders (who engage in net tilts), the national pastime, and perhaps the roped arena (where Mike McGook, the fast east side boy, swaps wallops with Pittsburgh Pete Hoolahan, the clever Chicago lad, in one of the most furious bouts in the annals of fistiana). And the sport writer is wise indeed for coining these—and other novel phri as his contribution to the openin; season, for the fans are weary of the old Just listen to the golfing fan. bromides and always welcome something new. I" WILL not be long before the crucial series will be with us again. In fact. the crucible of -crucials will be boiling in a few weeks. The headlines 9 will tell the ancient story. Perhaps this one— Yanks anp Browys Meer In Important Test or STRENGTH Ruppert-Huston Forces and St. Louis Contenders Lock Horns in Series That May Prove Turning Point of Season There is nothing like a crucial series for bringing out the fans. For a series t may be the turning point of th L potentialities for deciding where the gon- falon—or the bunting, as it is sometimes called—will fly. Stanc in line isn’t as easy as it looks. It takes lots of practice to stand in line efficiently. An able stander-in-line, for instance, uses a minimum of space. He knows. in- stinctively v close to the man ahead he can stand with- out making himself or the 1 person uncomfort- able. Bute an efficient stander-in-line gets out of prac- tice And then it becomes necessary for him to brush up. As good a way as any is to line up in front of the water cooler in the office. In this way one can at least brush up on that phase of standing on line that has to do with proper spacing. Another qualification of the stander-in-line is patience. As applied to this phase of the art the method suggested is not of great value. For it doesn’t take much patience to wait in line for a drink—of water. That just requires res- ignation. Further Proof AN» if you still are doubtful, man, + ‘That folks are simply raring To start the season with n And therefore are preparing, Just listen to the golfing fan A-brushing up his swearing! : f ; ' H i ; H }