Judge — April 14, 1923 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Easy to Play Easy to Pay ‘True-Tone Saxophone G P rrasicst of all wind instru- ment, eure, lodge or school In big demand for orchestra dance pictures of t Saxophone Book Free 3 struments are almost entirely all ally Sax Invented the Sait Buescher Perfected It Your skin can be quickly cleared of Pimples, Black heads, Acne Eruptions on the face or body, Itch, Eczem larged Pores, Oily or Shin: IN VENTORS gur guid ide book, “HOW TO give our opinion of its patentable nature RANDOLPH & CO., 789 “F”” Washington, D. C. fit. Sa rene) $25 weekly benefit for injury or Premium $10 yearly Write quick for territory $3.00 to $25.00 for Spare Time = Shots turns your camera or kodak into a mo maker, No work more enjoyable than Photo- phic Journalism. Write amore Institute, Lafayette Bldg., Phila., Be Sure to See the College Wits’ Number of Judge, May 12th This annual feature of Judge will be fresher and more enjoyable this year than ever. All the leading college wits; editors, illustrators, and writers of the student humorous papers of America are working for this number and will be represented. For weeks they have been bus rounding up the best fun in stori and pictures for the College Wits’ Number. As an incentive, Judge offers a prize cup to the college con- tributing the best material. Cornell has won the cup twice. If they win in this year the cup is theirs to ad for all time. Get the College Number and who'll win this r. On all newsstands May 10th. chambermaid. “Yep.” How to Behave by Sue Stuart RE You e at a social gathering There is no need for you to be a wall- flower. Our handy little pocket-size booklet, “Slang in Six Easy Lessons,” will see you through many a rough evening, and enable you to be the life of the party. For example: You are sitting next to a beautiful girl, but you don’t know | how to open the conversation, A tonsil- ind tenor has just finished executing request. As the last agonized moans die on the air, you should turn to the beautiful girl, and poking her briskly in the ribs with your elbow, brightly: “Well—that’s _ over. Who let in that white hope with the jcutaway chin, anyhow—some one ought Ito tear him loose from his sub. cious If she replies, with a burst of girlish laughter, “That is my husband,” you will instantly see that you have made | the hit of the ev ening How vou seen a lady but did not know the correct social usage for sucl ‘h occasions? Our pamphlet, “How to Avoid Em- | barrassment at a Drowning’—bound in }duck—should be in your vest pocke' whenever you visit the seashore. Walk- ing as close to the water line as is possible without wetting your shoes, you should first attract the lady’s attention cither by whistling, “Ain't you Comin’ Out, Ma- linda?” or the more modern method of wig-wagging. Upon receiving the lady’s 30 Man with the oars—I see b’ the Gazette you be’n advertisin’ fer a “T’ work on th’ oyster beds, I s’pose?” sign of recognition, you should then av dress her as follows, in a firm Jt refines tone: “Hey, lady” (or * prefer) “do you know the $ in New York Ci If she responds the affirmative you then volunteer information: ‘Well, the Smiths next door to my boss, so that pract akes us acquainted, don’t you think or do you?” Upon receiving her consent you then proceed to 1 to her Chapter IX, of our pamphlet, “How to Remove Water Spots from Bathing Suits,” an after this, if the lady is still in sight, it is quite proper to summon the Life-saving Crew. tae Templeton—Did you find it hard to get out of your upper berth? Castleman luckily the train was rounding a curve. tae It is surprising what wonderful dishes can be made from practically nothing. We heard of a lady who a delicious pudding out of an old cookbook that the cook wanted to throw away. tat Aviators can’t be too careful in judging distances before landing. We read of so many of them landing six feet too low. ery Ted—Tom was bitten by a neighbor's watchdog, and the man says he has tl law on his side. What kind of a law that? Ned—Looks to me as if it must be one of those laws with teeth in it.