Judge — February 24, 1923 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

dm mak her such ited Il to . her the usly use, had muds my an. his the the to he ge? he Some years ago a Cleveland, 0., J woman and her four-year-old daugh- ter were visiting relatives in Kansas. The little girl, Doris, never having been in the country before, was much im- pressed by the strange appearance of things. “Who made all this grass, and who made these chickens that are running und with so many feathers on?” she .d her mother, excitedly, who. re- Why, God made them, of course.” Whereupon Doris, in much astonishment, med: ; id. Have they a God out here in Kansas?” —Foresight. Embarrassing gaucherie of a gentle- man who tried to seize the hand rail of a passing bus. —London Opinion. sae » Horace had been allowed the -ge of sitting up a little later than usual. Finally his mother called to him to rs. .” begged the boy, stay up just a little longer? I you and Mr. Todd play ca “But we are not going to play cards to- ” said Mr. Todd. } yu can’t fool me,” replied the boy. “I heard mother tell sis that everything depended on the way she played her cards to-night.” —Country Gentleman. oy ps Hecarty had just purchased a mule, but he did not obtain from the animal all that he required of it. So he wended his way back to the horse aler. “You said this mule was quite tame,” he said to the dealer. “And so he is tame, isn’t he?” replied the dealer, in an aggrieved tone. “Not altogether—only partially so,” the disconsolate Hegarty replied. ‘He is tame in front, I dare say, but he is desperately wild behind!" —Answers (London). aa I" was past elev: The old man en- tered the parlor and, approaching his daughter’s admirer, said, “Young man, do you know what time it is?” The timid youth leaped to his feet and, stammering, es,” hurried into the hall and then out into the night. The old man stood bewildered. “That’s a queer fellow to have calling on you, Mabel,” he remarked. “Why did he rush off in that fashion? My watch had stopped, and I mer to get the time from him to start it going again.” —Pearson’s Weekly (London). Digest of the World’s Humor en I see a ragged man,” said the Tie negroes, meeting one day on the irman virtuously, y to my- principal colored resident street self, there goes one of life’s wasters. of Lynchburg, had paused for a friendly There goes a man who has refused to chat, when they observed on the opposite ke the most of his gifts. There isno side of the street a flamboyant buxom excuse for poverty negro woman, who was striding along one should rise. Ev with an air of proud. superiority, ob- out a good position for himself if he viously conscious of the attention which wishes.” her physical charms were attracting. “Perhaps you are right,” interposed a “Jim, who is dat pouter pigeon wor member. “Only to-day I met a news- yonder carryin’ herself so pertubrunt? paper man who told me that twenty um. years ago he came to Chicago with exactly » dat’s in his pocket. He is now worth $40,000, and he owes this entirely to his own ability and energy, combined with good health and a high code of ethies, and to the fact that his uncle recently died and left him §: —Houston Post. J e “Mr. Meckingham has great presence of mind.” “Ts that so?” “Yes, while he was proposing to Miss Stronghead, instead of saying, “Will you be mine? he said, ‘May I be yours? —Kansas City Journal. Roy Miss Mandy Johnson, noke on a. visit to plied Jim, she sho’ do present Elis’ Magazine. “Yes,” said the famous physician, “that ‘man has spigoraltic detrullias sponzulium, and I’m charging $2 diagnose his case.” “Beg your pardon,” “what did you sa “He has id the student, an has?” A SIMPLE RECIPE “What did you do to get so fat?” “Nothing!""—Nebelspalter (Zurich). replied the physician, imes-Dis patch. "$e lin Long-suffering Traveler—Madam, may I ask what you call this cha ing boy? Mother (proudly)—Claude. “Well, do you mind calling him?”—The Humorist (London). 21